Happy Friday! And it really is a happy Friday because I have a 4 day weekend! I’m scheduling myself a lot more 3 and 4 day weekends these days, but it makes sense since I only get 1-2 weekends off per month. Might as well make them count.
I’m feeling pretty lazy regarding the gym today! I skipped the gym on Wednesday too and went on a 2 mile walk with Jon that evening. I figured it wouldn’t matter cause I had other days off this week to work out, but now I’m just feeling like a lazy blob. I probably would have gone at noon, but I ended up having to go to Whole Foods this morning (we seriously had no food no left home for breakfast or for any other meal, really) and ate a huge plate of their breakfast bar at 11am. So, a noon workout doesn’t look promising… Especially since that’s 24 minutes away.
Want to know one of the things I love about being pregnant? At least right now because I know this won’t last. I sleep like a rock. I mean, I wake up to pee every single morning without fail at 5 or 5:30am (sometimes more), but I fall asleep every night in about two minutes and I just sleep so good. I was falling asleep on the couch at 9:15 last night, so I got in bed by 10 and was out like a light. I slept till 9am today and probably could have stayed in bed even longer. The only downfall is that I still feel exhausted on work days if I go to bed at 11pm (I wake up at 5:15am). I think I may have to move my bedtime an hour or two earlier if I have to get up the next day! Growing a baby is apparently really tiring, which totally makes sense… I mean, it’s a whole human that your body has to produce.
I just deleted part of this post to make it shorter… I promise my next blog will not be about having babies (lies- I find out if it’s a boy or girl tomorrow, so the next post will have something about babies).
So, I don’t really know how to adjust to having a baby. I mean, I can take care of a kid. I probably will want to stab my eyes out in the middle of the night if my baby is crying and I’ll probably miss how simple life is without kids, but I know what to do if a baby is sick. I take care of sick babies at work. I know how to feed a baby and entertain them. I change so many adult diapers that baby diapers are easy peasy. I’m sure I’ll have plenty to learn, but I have enough of the basics covered that I feel confident in the skills of caring for a baby. I feel really unprepared to not have the life that I have now though. Sleep till 9? Gym at 10? Long lunch while I read blogs? Take three hours to clean the house? Sit down and do homework uninterrupted? Go hang out with friends? I can do all of those things! And life won’t be like that anymore. I love my life. I have a fantastic life. I also love traveling and being able to decide six weeks out that Jon and I are going to Europe for 17 days. I feel like a lot of women I talk to about having babies were the type of women who always wanted kids. They’re so excited about their baby getting here that they never talk about these things. And here I am, like, SLOW DOWN TIME! I’m not ready for this baby to come out because I’m not ready not to be selfish anymore!
It baffles me that this is what some women dream of. Having babies. I dream of traveling the world. I dream of working for nonprofit companies or getting involved in public health. I dream of brunch dates with friends when we’re 40. I dream of retirement when Jon and I can sell our house and go live all over the US. Babies? No. Never. I remember when I worked at Arby’s when I was 17 and somebody asked me if I wanted kids. I said no. They said, “Just wait. One day, you’ll wake up and you’ll realize how much you want kids.”
Well, I’m 29 and 17 weeks pregnant (tomorrow) and I still haven’t woken up with that feeling. And I also think that person was ignorant for thinking that all women are magically going to want to have kids. Not all women want kids. Hello. We have other awesome things in our lives to want. Am I excited about having this baby? Yes. I am. I never thought I would be amazed that I am growing a baby, but I am. I cried at our first ultrasound. I can’t wait to see our baby tomorrow on the ultrasound (GENDER REVEAL!!!!). I am always touching my belly. I love it when people at work want to see my tiny bump! I am excited. But I still don’t ever have that feeling of “OMG I AM SO EXCITED TO HAVE A BABY.” It’s more like, “Oh hey, I’m having a baby. This is cool for now. I hope it stays cool once this baby comes.”
I don’t know guys. Being pregnant is weird. Having babies is weird. I feel like everybody just talks about how excited they are while they’re pregnant and I’m just abnormal for not being that excited. Not that I mind. I don’t. I know I’ll be a good mom, but I don’t have expectations of how excited I should be about this baby or how quickly I’ll feel attached to it when it’s born. I’ve lived 29 years without a baby. I don’t need to adjust to having one in 40 weeks.
Okay, time to go clean our disgusting house, hopefully work on a paper, maybe nap, and then I have to get ready cause Jon and I are having a fancy date night tonight! (By the way, I think all those things will come after a trashy TV show and a nap. Rainy days make me tired.)