What a day! I’ve been pretty tired all day today! I woke up this morning at 8:20 to jump in the shower and head out the door to my 38 week (and 4 day) OB appointment. I was seeing a different doctor again today and the doctor last week and this week were both nice, but I really prefer my own doctor. The doctor checked me today and said my cervix is really soft but still no dilating! I know that being dilated doesn’t necessarily mean anything and she assured me that I could be 0cm and still go into active labor without any issues, but I just wanted some progress! She also mentioned again that after 40 weeks, it’s possible to induce at any time, but that it wouldn’t be required to induce me until 41 weeks. She said unless I start dilating though, induction isn’t really recommended because the cervix just isn’t ready. I had been wanting to ask her to strip my membranes today, but honestly, her checking my cervix was so uncomfortable today that I just wanted her hand out of there! She stuck her fingers through my cervix and she was pushing on the baby’s head! And she kept doing it to make sure she was feeling a head and not a butt. I could have told her I’d already been checked and he was head down, and had this entire, full grown baby turned himself completely upside down, I think I would have felt it. My next appointment is on Tuesday at 11. Thankfully, Jon is going to be able to go with me! He actually had a case come up and I told him to go to it, but his coworker told him he needs to come to the baby’s appointment instead since it’ll be our talk about induction and where to go from here! So close!

I snapped this shot when I parked my car at home after the appointment because my belly looked so weird. It was crazy from the top but I can’t capture than angle very well. It never looks how it does to me. But there’s Jackson’s big ol’ butt pushing out there! Can’t wait to see his tiny little butt in person!

I was actually going to go to the gym today, but then I came home and was starving so I ate while I cuddled Tom and watched TV. Then I took a nap and it was so hard to get up off the couch. And I’m still exhausted. I could seriously sleep forever. Not sure what is going on! Jon got home shortly after my nap and I’ve been hanging out with him and working on some schoolwork, but it’ll probably be a low key night around here, as they have been.

Yesterday I think I started nesting! Or maybe I was just feeling productive for one day because I sure haven’t been feeling productive today! At least I’ve managed to keep our house clean though, which is a pretty big deal in itself after how the last 38 weeks have gone! Jon and I finally got stuff done with the baby’s room! We are still waiting for the glider, which is actually supposed to arrive today according to Rooms to Go, but our porch is still empty so I’m not really sure where it is…

I’ll have to get some better ones on my real camera eventually, but this is a quick shot. Those are all my cloth diapers by the dresser! I think I was mostly excited about organizing my diapers, honestly. The glider is going to go next to the dresser over in that corner. There’s more room there than it looks like in this photo. And then we just have to hang some stuff up over the crib and we’ll be done for now. We aren’t doing a changing table because we already had that dresser and didn’t want to spend the money on it, and I’m fine with using waterproof pads on a couch or bed to change him. Or the floor. I don’t really care.

Tom definitely had a blast running around yesterday with all the boxes everywhere. Jon and I put together a bunch of the baby stuff to get it all ready and I’m definitely feeling more prepared. Now, one of these days I’ll pack a bag for the hospital!

Tom is sleeping there right now. In the pack n’ play. I wonder if he knows that’s not a bed for him.

Jon and I took a look at our taxes last night too. I think we may have them professionally filed, but Jon entered our information in and it looks like we’ll owe about $4000! AH! He changed his deductions for a big call weekend to 12 and forgot to change it back, and then he was a 1099 employee for awhile. We have about 1/4 of that saved up in a separate account because we knew he’d owe on his 1099 income, but still. Wow. I’ve never owed before and definitely not that much. Isn’t it depressing to be a middle class family? I’m hoping if we have them done professionally, they can find a way to decrease that number. I’m definitely feeling poor knowing I’ll be out of work (unpaid) for awhile with Jackson! I’m already thinking about how I can work more over the summer when I’m not in school so we can save up. We definitely have money in savings for stuff like this, but we want to move out of our condo! At this rate, we’ll be in this tiny condo for the rest of our lives. Good thing I like the location so much!

Anyway, I’m off to get some more school stuff done for the evening! I have some discussion postings due tonight and a literature search assignment I need to work on. I just finished up a paper today and am waiting for Jon to proof read it. Ugh, grad school. I can’t believe I still have two years left of this after this semester! I’m so glad we don’t have classes over the summer cause I already need a break!

 

Happy Tuesday from the Still-Pregnant one! I had a pretty decent weekend overall! Friday night was kind of a lazy night, even though I had really wanted to do something. I’m almost never off on weekends so it was exciting to have a weekend night off with Jon, but he was too tired to do much. Turns out, once we ran some errands, I had a fairly productive night around the house.

Saturday morning we woke up early for some reason and went to my parents to drop some stuff off (we have no storage in our house!) and went and had coffee together. I’ve been super emotional lately and Jon and I were talking about not wanting a colic-y baby. I said it would be miserable to listen to a baby cry all the time and he told me he thought I’d be a selfish parent and it made him worried. He said he wouldn’t want his baby crying because it would mean the baby isn’t happy, and I wouldn’t want my baby crying because it would mean I’m miserable. I tried to explain that while I don’t really want to listen to a baby cry, I also don’t want my kid to be miserable either. So my feelings were all hurt and it totally ruined my mood!

I ignored my bad mood long enough to run some more errands with Jon (our life is running errands lately, apparently) and then we went and saw 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi. It was actually really good and we were two of the four people in the theater! I also peed SEVEN times during the movie. A pregnant woman should not drink coffee before going to the movies.

We came home after and Jon had to get his hair cut, so I started working on framing pictures from Europe. I finally finished that and then we had to go return all the millions of extra frames I had bought. My mom is coming over this weekend to help hang up our photo wall and I can’t wait! I’ll post some pictures! I need one more picture to fill up a frame, so I think I may look around for at Atlanta one, actually. I was super bummed though cause I realized I have NO idea what happened to all my paintings I got in China. They were framed and everything, so it is really beyond me where they could be. (In search of my China paintings, I finally found the other Brooks shoe that I bought in Portland over a year ago and hadn’t been able to find! So now it’s like I have a new pair of shoes!)

We had a good talk on Saturday night about our talk over coffee and Jon thinking I’d be a selfish parent. I don’t talk to him about it much, but I have cried about 2087 times in my car thinking about if our baby isn’t healthy. I was actually just crying on Friday in the car (I cry so much in the car! Pregnancy hormones are a bitch!) thinking about how I hope that even if Jackson isn’t 100% healthy, I just hope he doesn’t have anything that will prevent him from being happy. I see so many kids with mental or physical disabilities in the ER that know they’re different in some way and then they become suicidal or depressed and it’s terrible thinking that could be MY kid. Imagine how helpless you would feel as a parent. And I also don’t think Jon understands when I explain to him that I don’t want to lose myself in having a baby. I still want to be ME. I know my identity will change and include “Mom,” but I still want to be my own person too. I hate it when people have kids and that becomes their life and that’s it. How can you be happy if you’re only living to fulfill your child? But he takes that as me just wanting to live my own life and not accepting that our life will change. I can’t even really explain it, so maybe that’s why he doesn’t get it. Either way, we still had a good talk and we’ve been getting along really well lately and I’m just happy that things are so even and calm right now before the baby comes!

Anyway, that night I thought I was going into labor. I had horrible back pain, lower abdominal pain, nausea, and I was having tons of contractions that were really increasing the back pain. But no. At 1:30, it all stopped. And then I was just exhausted at work all day Sunday and despite spending 13 hours on my feet (I seriously barely sat down- I was hoping gravity would make Jackson decide it was time to come out), still no labor. I did have very painful and swollen feet though.

Monday morning I worked in he ER for 4 hours. Super busy 4 hours. And I had to start an IV with my hands completely numb (again, thanks pregnancy). Pretty weird. Thankfully he had huge veins or I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to feel anything. I can’t feel hot and cold or wet or dry. Annoying.

I went and got my hair done yesterday afternoon. My hair guy switched locations and I ended up being right by my mom and dad’s house! I didn’t realize that it was right there or I would have napped before going. Instead, I was so out of it during my hair appointment. It was 3 1/2 hours long and I seriously probably fell asleep about 5 times while he was coloring it, and then I was so incredibly hot while he was cutting it that I was miserable. I get hot flashes every afternoon (always the worst right around 3) and I seriously thought I might pass out. Being that hot also made me swell like a fat cow which made it even worse. My hair is so dark again! It looks kind of weird to me, but it’s actually super close to the color I usually get. I just hadn’t colored it since June! I’m hoping to get a few washes in before Jackson is born so it’s not so severe in our labor and delivery photos, but I also hate washing my hair if it doesn’t need it. So we’ll see. I’m iffy on the cut for some reason. My hair is way shorter than it was but I think I just need to style it myself and see what I think of it. I always hate it when they style it for me at the salon.

I did some schoolwork last night before watching The Bachelor with Jon. I was totally shocked at who Ben picked to stay, for anybody who watches it. I totally thought he was going to keep Amanda and send JoJo home.

I stayed in bed till 11 this morning! I woke up and then fell back to sleep and literally snoozed for 1 1/2 hours. I’m hoping my body is requiring all this sleep because labor is right around the corner! I’m getting so impatient!

Jon doesn’t have any cases today, so we’re going to work on the baby’s room. I was supposed to hang out with Crista today but I haven’t heard from her, so not sure if that’ll happen. I don’t particularly care either way. I’m definitely fine with staying inside on his rainy day. Although I do need to grocery shop pretty badly. But I have no appetite, so grocery shopping just keeps getting postponed.

Tomorrow morning is another OB appointment! Everybody cross your fingers that I’ve at least started dilating! And hopefully this afternoon, I’ll get some more of Jackson’s room done. Or maybe I won’t and we’ll bring him home to a room full of stuff!

Ah FRIDAY! I’m off work tomorrow (YAY!) since I emailed my boss saying I can’t work two 12 hour shifts in a row at this point, so she took me off the schedule tomorrow. I’m actually supposed to be meeting up with my grad school group for a big project, but nobody is really quick to respond to anything so I have no idea if that’ll happen. Can I just say that I hate group projects? Maybe I feel more rushed since my brain isn’t functioning like normal anymore and I know it’s going to get worse when the baby comes (and we won’t be able to meet in person either then), but I just wish people would have the decency to respond. I started emailing the group over two weeks ago now and we still don’t have a meeting time set for tomorrow.

I spent all day yesterday working on my paper. I’m having such a hard time focusing on school and I realized I kind of wanted to take my 1/3 of the way finished paper in a different direction, so I barely made any progress. It was kind of disappointing. Also, our breaker tripped the other night and the lights in the front half of our house went out. Yesterday, the lights flickered ALL DAY LONG! It’s super dark in my house so I have to have lights on to see, but I was getting a headache from them and getting so distracted. I’m surprised I didn’t rip the chandelier off the ceiling over our table out of frustration! Unfortunately, I’m not productive if I go out of the house to get work done, so I knew it’d be pointless to try and take my huge spread of papers to a coffee shop. So I suffered with my obnoxious lights and barely made any progress on schoolwork!

Last night I met up with Gina, Kassie, Rachel, and Laura for a last girls’ night before Jackson arrives! We met up at Grub Burger Bar, which was decent. For a burger, fries, and shake, it cost $15 though. A little steep in my opinion. The burger was good though. It didn’t taste beefy at all, thankfully. Then we all went to Old Navy and then Babies R’ Us. Rachel just passed her 20 week mark with her baby girl, so it was fun looking at all the baby stuff and talking about what we’re going to do when our babies come!

Rachel, Laura, Gina, Me, Kassie.

I was shocked that those boots fit over my cankles, by the way! They were super tight on my calves, but oh well! I tried on other boots but they wouldn’t even zip up over my ankles! And let’s not talk about how tight the top of those leggings were when I put them on yesterday.

I got home last night and actually worked on my paper for a bit. I would have kept going, but Jon wanted to sleep on the couch and I couldn’t see any of my research articles that I had printed out so I had to stop working!

I slept in late again today. I wanted to get up early and go to a 9:45 class (so I had to get up at like, 8:45- not early really) at LA Fitness since I’ve been so unmotivated to work out, but I couldn’t drag myself out of bed. I’m so tired of feeling so drained lately. I have a feeling that although the pregnancy is a large contributor, it’s also my horrible diet and lack of physical activity. I have basically been living off of fruit, dairy, and grains, and I basically never ate dairy or grains before. Well, I’d have cheese on my eggs and that was about it. My vegetable and meat intake is super low compared to my norm. I’m really hoping my appetite goes back to normal once Jackson gets here because I hate that all I want to eat is stuff I would normally never eat.

I definitely woke up today hoping to go into labor again today! My hands were bothering me so much this morning and just sitting down at dinner last night, it was incredibly uncomfortable with Jackson being so low. I wonder if I can just reach up there and pull him out! Is it sad that I’m hoping the 12 hour shift I have to work on Sunday will put me into labor?! It’s even at the hospital that I’m delivering at, so it would be perfect! And my doctor is on call this weekend! Maybe tomorrow I’ll go to the gym and hop on the elliptical and just go crazy for 20 minutes and hope it jump starts everything. Jon has been so nice though and he picked me up out of bed again this morning so I could get up to pee when he left for work! I’m feeling pretty thankful for him right now (even if he wouldn’t massage the uterus spot on my feet last night when I asked- I NEED TO GO INTO LABOR!). Too bad I just really don’t feel like he’s coming early… I have a feeling I’m going to be induced at 41 weeks.

An electrician came by and fixed my lights for me! Hallelujah! It was a simple breaker part that needed to be switched out so now I can happily work on my paper again today!

Jon should be home fairly soon. He though he’d be home around 2-3, which I really am hoping for. It’s a BEAUTIFUL day out and I’d love to get some time in with him for once in the afternoon. Lately he’s been doing a lot of late cases and he has been falling asleep really early on the couch, so I don’t get to spend much time with him. We need to try and finish up the baby room if we can (we won’t be able to hang anything yet since we need to wait for our glider to get delivered before seeing where the pictures go), and I’d love to get our pictures finally hung up over our couch! Maybe I’ll even pack my baby bag this weekend.

Alright, time to go work on my paper some more before Jon gets home.

Ah, life lately. I don’t even know where to go with this post. I feel like I’m sort of stuck in the middle of a huge transition but not there yet. It’s weird. I don’t feel like myself at all. Mentally, I’m the same, but physically? This body isn’t mine. Even my belly is different. I have contractions nonstop now. It literally hurts sometimes to try and get out of bed or off the couch. It feels like Jackson is ripping apart my bladder with his tiny little hands. I am so completely and utterly exhausted in a way I never have been before. My hands are numb 24/7 and my fingers hurt to bend. Jackson moves around a lot less because he’s a fully formed baby in my belly that isn’t even that big, so I don’t even get to enjoy as many baby tumbles. And I feel like when he moves a lot, he just causes me to have more contractions. I have no appetite anymore and can barely eat in the evenings because it makes me so nauseated at night. I woke up the other night for 2 hours and was nauseous and uncomfortable and it was my very first time thinking, “Please, just let me go into labor right now.” I have heard so many different labor experiences so I feel like I’ll be able to identify being in labor pretty easily, but I’m so curious what it’s going to be like for me. I want to know when it’s going to happen and how. I want to know if I’ll be able to deliver vaginally or will we have complications. I want to know if Jackson is going to be healthy. I’m definitely getting impatient, but also still can’t believe that I’m about to have a baby around 24/7. I’m soaking in trips to the grocery store alone. Leaving the house in 10 minutes. Showering without worrying about what Jackson is doing. It’s a strange time.

I haven’t been to the gym since last Monday. Like, over a week ago last Monday. I’ve been pretty busy with other stuff and yesterday when I did have time, I was so completely exhausted from being up for two hours in the middle of the night and having to wake up to go to work in the morning. I actually do really miss it, but at the same time, I feel like there are so many other things I need to do. Like get my hair cut and colored (I need to schedule that appointment). I kept it up till close to the end and maybe I’ll make it again, but I’ve also packed my schedule full with lunch dates and dinners and spending time with friends before the baby comes. I guess spending time with friends is what’s really winning out over the gym. (Grad school takes up the majority of my other time.)

Jon and I bought our glider last night for the baby’s room finally and then I decided I needed ice cream. I know it’s weird, but sometimes when my stomach feels unsettled, I crave ice cream. And my stomach is unsettled always at night now. I mentioned a place in Buckhead that I always see on the side of the road and want to try, so we did a little impromptu “date night” to go check out a the Shake Shack.

I surprisingly ate 1/2 my cheeseburger and I really didn’t like my shake to start with, but by the time I finished it, I loved it and wanted more. I also thought the fries were delicious but I think I just like potato products right now because they’re so plain. We were out till 10pm and got lost trying to find our car and it was freezing out, but it was fun. We rarely go out to eat anymore because we’re trying to save money, I have no desire to get off the couch to go out most of the time, and I also have no appetite. But I also kind of cherished that silly little quickie burger place because it’s going to be harder to run out to grab a shake or burger late at night once Jackson in here. I’m going to miss our time together.

Things on the married front are going well. Jon has done a few things that really frustrated me lately and I brought them up to him and instead of getting defensive, he’s apologized and given me massages to “make up for it.” Things have just kind of evened out. Maybe I’m too exhausted for my hormones to make me moody now, but I’m just kind of glad we have time to spend together. It’s also kind of cute because he’s all worried that everything I do is because I’m going into labor. I called him from work the other morning (which I always do) and he didn’t answer. He texted me and said, “Is everything ok?” Haha. And every time I have pain when I move (which is all the time), he’s like, “Are you okay? Do you think it’s labor?” I definitely think I’m more calm about the whole labor/baby thing than he is. I just feel like it’ll happen, we’ll know, and we’ll have time to get stuff together at the last minute. He’s like, “Um, don’t you need to pack your bag for the hospital now?” and “Maybe we should type of a birth plan for the hospital.” He’s going to be such a good dad. I really can’t wait to see his face when he sees his baby for the first time since being dad has always been one of his life goals. He has talked about being a dad since I first met him almost eight years ago. (I just got teary eyed- I cry about EVERYTHING!) I think being new parents will be very hard on our marriage because I know myself and I’m realistic- it’ll be hard. But I love him and it’ll be good too.

Anyway, I should go. I need to make breakfast and get some work done on my paper before getting ready for my girls night tonight! I’m excited to see my friends tonight and I’m even more excited because I slept great last night! When Jon got out of the shower, he was like, “You must have slept terrible. You were breathing hard and groaning all night long.” Haha. I slept great though aside from waking up for one contraction and then I fell right back to sleep! I must just be loud in my late pregnancy days!

 

I stole a quick survey from Jessie to do since I’m tired and my hands are so numb these days that typing is honestly getting kind of obnoxious. Plus, I’m about to start working on a paper and that’s enough to have to type.

One//Are you named after someone?

Nope. But my mom did want to name me Elizabeth Rae and my dad hated it, so I’m Elizabeth Marie. I actually wish they had named me Elizabeth Rae since Marie is so common.

Two//When was the last time you cried?

Today. Like, a few hours ago. Just a little bit but I was just thinking about if Jackson comes out and isn’t a healthy baby boy! I literally cry all the time. Like, probably 4-5 times a week. And always when I’m driving and thinking about various things that could happen related to Jackson.

Three//Do you have kids?

So close!

Four//If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?

Who would answer no to this? I like to think so. I’ve managed to keep the same friends for 16 years, so I must do something right!

Five//Do you have a guilty pleasure?

Naps. I don’t even know if that counts. But I just really love naps lately. And sleeping in. That never happens anymore, but I always feel like I should be doing something productive with my time but I seriously love to sleep!

Six//Do you like handwriting?

What? Handwriting? Handwriting what? I don’t prefer to handwrite anything. I have cubital tunnel syndrome in my right arm and tend to get pretty uncomfortable if I have to write anything longer than half a page. And now I have carpal tunnel from being pregnant so even holding a pen is a chore.

Seven//What is your favorite cereal?

The 365 brand Frosted Flakes! Only three ingredients!

Eight//What is the first thing you notice about people?

Their teeth. I wish it was something better, but really, it’s teeth.

Nine//Do you have any pets?

YES! I will have cats for the rest of my life. And a dog because Jon wants a dog (but we have to get a house first. I’m in no hurry). But we have Tom and Kitty! I’ve had both since they were kittens. Kitty is turning 7 next month and she’s my favorite fluff ever. She’s seriously the most perfect, typical cat you could ever dream of and she loves her mama! Tom is about to be 3 next month and he’s a typical orange cat- so he’s obnoxious and loves attention.

A very old picture of Tom sitting on Kitty. He likes to sit on top of her and lick her face before he attacks her. He’s way fatter now though. This is also the only picture I care to include in this survey because cats.

Ten//Scary movies or happy endings?

Both. I won’t watch a scary movie if I’m home alone, but I like both for sure. We’re not big scary movie watchers around the house though cause Jon kind of hates them, so I only get to watch them when he owes me!

Eleven//Favorite TV Show?

I watch Nashville, The Bachelor/Bachelorette, Teen Mom, Catfish, Jane the Virgin, Real Housewives of the OC, Below Deck, and Southern Charm. Wow. Please, judge me! I’m actually not a huge TV watcher and the only shows I watch every week are Nashville and the Bachelor/Bachelorette. The others are my go-tos On Demand that I watch if I’m feeling lazy and just want something mindless on TV.

Twelve//Summer or winter?

Summer. There’s no competition. I’m more of a spring/fall type of girl, but I hate being cold. I prefer shorts, tank tops, and flip flops. All day, e’ery day.

Thirteen//Hugs or kisses?

Hugs. Is it crazy to admit that I’m not actually big on kissing? It can be fun when you first start dating somebody, but overall, the thought of mixing all our spit is just not really sexy.

Fourteen//What is the furthest you’ve been away from home?

Australia or China. I know I spent longer in transit to Australia (exactly 24 VERY LONG hours) than China (17 hours), but technically, I’d have to look at a map to see which is farther away from here. I believe those times both included my layovers, although I never have long layovers.

Fifteen//Do you have any special talents?

No. As a matter of fact, when Jon and I broke up one time, he even told me that one of the things he didn’t like about me was that I don’t have talents. He said, “I can sing, dance, and play the piano!” (He played the piano when he was a kid and he sings to the radio. He also danced in clubs, although his rhythm is good.) He denies ever saying that, but honestly, how could a person ever forget a line like that? I’m pretty sure I told all of my friends immediately after he made that ridiculous comment.

Sixteen//Where were you born?

I can’t say because then you’d know the answer to all my secret questions, but it was just outside of Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Seventeen//What are your hobbies?

TRAVELING! I also like hiking and working out. And long walks on the beach. I like reading too, actually, but since I’ve been in school for the last bajillion years of my life, I just don’t get to read like the old days.

Eighteen//What color are your eyes?

Green. I actually wore green contacts in high school to make them even more green, but I stopped. I guess I decided my own eyes were good enough or something. And then I had Lasik when I was 22 so now I don’t even wear contacts.

Nineteen//Favorite movie?

I don’t even have one. I like chick flicks though. I also love food documentaries on Netflix! I’ve seen pretty much every documentary about how unhealthy food is in the US and GMOs. I’m really not a huge movie watcher. I really have to be in the mood to sit down and watch a movie. My attention span is too short for all of that. Jon and I try all the time to watch movies and I almost always get up and do something else.

Twenty//What color is your car?

Blue.

Twenty-one//What did you want to be when you grew up?

A bus driver. Then I turned 7. Then a teacher. Then I turned 18. Then I realized that not only do I not like kids, but I don’t like any subject enough to teach it. I declared my major as psychology. But then I took a 2000 level psychology class and totally hated the professor. He even asked me how I plan to start IVs if I can’t figure out a podcast. Douchebag. I already knew how to start IVs and for the record, I still have never in my life listened to a podcast and don’t even have a clue where podcasts come from, nor do I care. So I decided I wanted to be a dentist, even though getting a masters in psychology seemed like it would take too long. But then I realized that I really would never want to be in school for that long. So when I joined the Army, I decided to be come a nurse (I was a medic in the Army and thought, “Self, I could do this. I could be a nurse.”). Then I became a nurse and have spent the last 1290 years in school anyway so I could have really been a dentist or a psychologist. And I also love working with kids now too, so I could have also been a teacher. But nursing has actually been super flexible and I can make some pretty stellar money doing it, plus the schedule is great so I’ve also taken a ton of trips, so I’m good with it for now. Although, I do not want to be a nurse for the rest of my life. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up now. (Hopefully a manager, since that’s what I’m getting my masters in!)

Just stopping by for a quick hello (it will probably not be quick) since I need to get my butt into gear and get some grad school stuff done for reals. I’ve been slacking so much lately and have some big assignments due soon!

This past weekend Jon and I went to my parent’s cabin! We used to go once a month or every other month, but lately it has just been so busy that we rarely go. We both love going though so we decided before Jackson’s arrival, we needed to make it out there!

I won’t recap the entire time because we tend to just sit around and read or talk or watch the fire a lot. I did eat fried plantains two nights in a row for dinner and now that’s really all I want to eat. We also finally took my topless photos! Not that I will ever be showing anybody and Jon totally did not understand why I needed to have pictures of my boobs, but this is the last time my boobs will probably ever be perky and full! They’re going to breastfeed Jackson and turn into little flappy pancakes probably. I just want to remember how nice they once were!

36 weeks, 6 days. Also, take note of that outfit. I wear those boots every day because my feet are too swollen for my other boots. I wear either those leggings or black leggings every day. Always one of those Target maternity tank tops, but sometimes with a v-neck t-shirt, and some sort of sweatshirt that’s open in the front. That has been all I’ve been able to wear for weeks now. SO BORING.

We headed up to Chattanooga on Saturday morning. For some reason, when we go to the cabin, Chattanooga always comes up. However, it is actually way closer for us to go to Chattanooga from our house than it is to go from the cabin! But we really wanted Maple Street Biscuit Company so it was worth the drive! Besides, it’ll be nice to walk around, we thought! Except it was freezing so we literally walked around for like, 15 minutes after eating and that was it! However, we stopped into an outdoor store and Jon found a really awesome Black Diamond jacket for 1/2 off and I found a North Face fleece for 20% off! I never find sales on them and my size, so I was super excited! Turns out, it was 1/2 off! This is my favorite jacket hands down and I wear the one I have ALL the time. I have a girls size though and it just seems so short now, so I wanted to get the women’s style since the sleeves and length are longer in general.

We also had coffee in Chattanooga since that Maple Street doesn’t make lattes (so disappointed! the lattes at the Jacksonville location are so good!) and I posted this photo that is probably my most liked photo ever now on Facebook. I think more people liked this photo than the photo I posted when Jon and I got engaged, and since we have like 200 mutual friends (from the Army), you’d think that would have gotten more likes. Nope. Apparently pregnant woman with coffee on her belly wins.

Almost the same outfit as above. But this time I had on a white tank top with a gray v-neck over it. You can really see my swelling there too. My hands, my face, my double chins. It has gotten pretty bad.

Yesterday we headed home around 11:30 and stopped by my mom and dad’s to drop off the towels and a blanket that I thought stunk (I think I’m hypersensitive to smells these days). We hung out for awhile and it was really nice to spend time with them. We try to go over on Sundays for dinner occasionally, but it has been so busy that I don’t think I’ve seen them since my baby shower on January 23rd! My mom keeps asking to come see the nursery but it’s really just a crib with random stuff scattered all over the floor still. One day.

Our “Valentine’s Day” picture. Again, same outfit. But that’s my new jacket!

I finally spent forever cleaning last night. I’ve been asking Jon to help since I cleaned the last time over a month ago, but his friend’s truck died so Jon left and went to take his friend’s dog all the way out to his house. I was in so much pain last night. I’m so glad the cleaning is done because I was seriously miserable after leaning over to vacuum under all our couches and beds and scrubbing all 1100sq/ft of our house on my hands and knees. Not fun. I also noticed that under our kitchen table, two of our wood slats are ruined! The whole top layer bubbled up and I have no idea what happened! The cats spill water off the table all the time, but I’m always super careful to clean it all up. I was wondering if one of the cats threw up there and the acid ate up the top layer of wood. Uh. Homeowner problems! But the house is now baby ready! Except for Jackson’s room. But we’re going to work on that this week.

Anyway, I need to go get some stuff done. The gym might happen tonight. I’m not motivated though and feel like I have other things to do (like blog). I have to get groceries and I wanted to go to Michael’s to find a frame for two pictures I bought in Belgium. Once we get these two framed, we can hang up our photo collage behind our couch finally! I have three other framed photos from our trip to Europe this year waiting! (I pretty much only hang artwork from travels up in my house. Although we do need to print out a wedding photo since we spent like, $200 on a custom made frame for that.)

 

I’m in the middle-ish of a 7 day stretch off work! Can I just tell you all how happy that makes me? I feel like I should pick up 4 hours either tomorrow morning or Monday morning, but right now, I’ll just hold off and see how I feel!

I worked Tuesday at my PCU job. It was a tough 12 hours. Easy as far as the workload there, but I was definitely feeling the effects of standing up for so long at 36.5 weeks pregnant. My back hurt as soon as I rolled out of bed, my feet were sore, my legs started swelling, and I was just overall really uncomfortable. I’m so glad I only have a few 12 hour shifts left before Jackson makes his debut.

Yesterday morning I had my 36 week appointment. They did the group B strep test and checked my cervix for the first time. The doctor said my cervix is still closed but is nice and soft, so I guess it’s getting ready for the baby! Unfortunately, my next two appointments are with other doctors but I see her again at 40 weeks, where we will discuss induction if we need to. Jon is going to that appointment with me so we can both be on the same page. My doctor said she’s on call a lot in March so I’m really hoping she’ll be the one to deliver Jackson! (Jon totally doesn’t understand why it matters who delivers our baby. Technically, it doesn’t, but I’ve been seeing her for the last three years now and she’s done all of my prenatal appointments so far.) Honestly, I don’t want to induce if we don’t have to since it can make labor even longer, so I’m asking my doctor her call days and we’ll be eating Polynesian sauce from Chik-Fil-A, eggplant parm, raspberry tea, massages, sex, whatever, in the 12 hours before her call shifts start! Hopefully he’ll just decide he’s ready and make his way out around 40 1/2 weeks (I want to make it without a baby for March 5th so we have just one more childless weekend!).

After my appointment, I picked Laura up since she was playing hooky from work! We went downtown and ate crepes at Julianna’s Crepes! The guy forgot to place the order for my dessert crepe so we were there for awhile, which was totally fine. Then I wanted coffee, so we went to get coffee, where we hung out even longer. I had been wanting to look at this baby consignment shop downtown so we went and spent forever decided if I should buy another diaper bag! It was the one that I really wanted but Jon said was too feminine and they had it for only $30 (originally $65). I decided against it since we have a really nice diaper bag already, but it was taunting me. And then we went to TJ Maxx and they had the SAME ONE! But I stayed strong. Instead I spent $60 on two new bracelets but I love them. And I actually wear bracelets a lot so at least I’ll get my money’s worth!

Really, I think I’m just so insanely bored with my clothing options that I just want anything to make me feel like a normal person! I know I’m coming to an end here with the pregnancy thing (which is kind of sad) and I’m hoping I take after my mom and get back into my pre-pregnancy pants within two weeks, but right now I am just so bored with getting dressed! I wear black leggings every day with my one maternity sweater from Target or I have three maternity tank tops that I’ll throw under a button up sweater (unbuttoned, of course- the only way it fits). My feet are also so swollen that I can only wear my slipper boots or gym shoes comfortably. I’ve always been a pretty boring person when it comes to fashion so I never thought I’d get tired of only having two options of what to wear basically, but I am!

Anyway, after I finished up with Laura, Jon and I went out to eat with his old coworkers. It was actually a lot of fun and it was good to see them. We used to play trivia on Wednesday’s with them but it’s a much larger group there so it was nice to just talk to them without quite so many people there! I did feel bad cause I asked for a cheese quesadilla and they put chicken on and it I had to send it back. But I don’t want chicken right now. At all. And I didn’t ask for it either!

I stayed up way too late last night reading The Cynical Pharmacist on Facebook and watching trash TV and then of course, at 6am, I was super uncomfortable again. I decided not to lay in bed forever like I usually do, but to get up and nap later.

So far, I’ve completed a discussion for school and started on my paper. I ate some breakfast. I’m on my 4th load of laundry (including sheets! FINALLY!) and did a load of dishes. I put the sheets on the crib even! So I’m making some progress at least and getting something productive done.

Tonight is book club so I have to read one more chapter for that. I’m considering going to the gym but really don’t feel like it cause I’m so tired, but I’ve only gone once this week so far! We’ll see. Jon and I are headed to the cabin tomorrow for our last little pre-baby trip and I’m super excited! And once we get home Sunday, we need to get in prep mode for Jackson’s arrival and get our floors/bathrooms deep cleaned! I’m sure he’s going to love that!

Alrighty, time to go work on my paper some more! I haven’t even finished the intro but at least it’s progress!

Want to know something awesome? Just bear with me as I get to the awesome part, okay?

I’ve always been the clean one in our marriage. Jon has always been the tornado that comes through and messes up my clean house. He literally puts his scrubs on the floor touching the hamper. He also undresses at the coffee table on a daily basis and I am constantly picking up his t-shirts and socks from the living room. The cleanliness of our house and been a battle for almost the entire time we’ve been living together. I’ve kind of given up on him and I always do our floors, bathrooms, keep the dishes clean, do almost all of our laundry (he will put in a load if I ask him), pay bills, grocery shop, etc. I used to get so annoyed because he would come home from work to a spotless house that I spent 4-5 hours cleaning (how long it takes to really clean our house) and he would never say anything at all about it. He finally started telling me the house looks good when he comes home and I’ve cleaned, but he never thanks me for it.

As I’ve mentioned more than a million times, I have had zero motivation to clean while pregnant. Our house is definitely not disgusting by any means, but it’s messy. I finally gathered up the motivation to get our kitchen in order the other day and had kept it clean ever since.

Jon wanted to have a Super Bowl party on Sunday and I said I didn’t really care, as long as our house was clean when people came over (I cannot stand to have anybody come into a messy house) and he had to clean up whatever mess they made.

I can’t even remember what Jon did in our kitchen on Saturday, but when I woke up on Sunday morning, it was a disaster in the kitchen. I hardly had any room to make my breakfast and was so annoyed with it that I left without even saying goodbye to him (we wake each other up to kiss goodbye every morning). I never mentioned it to him though.

Sunday night he had his little party and then left the mess all night long. Again, Monday morning I had nowhere to make my breakfast and his buffalo sauce smelled awful. But I was off work so I decided to load the dishwasher so that when he got home from work that night, he’d at least have room to load all the big bowls and he would be able to hand wash all the big pans.

Monday night, he came home and we took apart the bookshelf in Jackson’s room and went to look at gliders for the baby’s room. Then when we got home, he wanted to watch TV. I mentioned the mess (/probably nagged him) and he cleaned up while I was in the shower. And he did a great job. It really was spotless.

I came out to say goodnight and mentioned something that was probably naggy (I can’t recall what). He was like, “Yeah, you’re welcome for cleaning the kitchen!” to which I responded, “Yup, doesn’t it feel nice to be unappreciated?”

I went to bed immediately and texted him (you can solve all marriage problems via text) that I was really irritated with him acting like I was ungrateful for him cleaning the kitchen. I mentioned that I spend hours cleaning our house and while he does tell me it looks good, he never thanks me. This was his mess and he had agreed to clean it up entirely, but I still loaded the dishwasher and put stuff away for him while he was working to help out. He doesn’t ever thank me for cleaning up my messes, so why is he acting like I’m ungrateful for not thanking him for cleaning up his own messes? He texted back that I was right and he was sorry.

I worked the next day and when I got home, he had a bag of Ghirardelli chocolates on the table with a note thanking me for all the tireless work I put into our house and how he was sorry for the night before and that he loves me. And it was seriously the sweetest thing ever. And then he rubbed my legs AND my back! It just reminds me of why I love him… I honestly don’t think a bag of chocolates has ever been so appreciated ever. I think we’ve been out of the habit of really trying to think of the other person, and it was just super sweet of him to even apologize the next day. It’s just a reminder of how something so small can make such a huge difference and really made me feel like he appreciates me.

And that was what was awesome 🙂

Hey-o. Late Monday post. I should hop in the shower and get back to schoolwork since I’ve only spent about 2-3 hours on it today and really need to start a huge paper that I have due in 2 weeks (I have two other big assignments due over the next two weeks also). I really wish I was more motivated these days.

Thursday night I hung out with Laura. I’ve been feeling extremely lazy lately, as I’ve discussed on here plenty of times. I know I need to soak in friend time but really, I don’t even feel like showering and getting ready most of the time. Sitting at home sounds just fine with me. I used to go crazy sitting inside for one entire day and now I feel like I could probably spend a few days at home before getting the urge to leave the house. Regardless of my lazies, I had a good time with Laura. We went to Fresh 2 Order and I ended up getting the chicken and sweet potatoes as always, plus a mozzarella and tomato sandwich. I was seriously famished. Laura was willing to run errands with me so we headed to Target after, which I was super grateful for because I haven’t had much desire to go to the store these days lately either. (PLEASE let the nesting start!) And that was our night. Always super exciting when two almost-30 year olds get together. But really, that’s about how all of our hangouts go. We eat and run errands together.

I woke up around 3am on Thursday night/Friday morning feeling awful! I have heard from plenty of people that you’ll feel sick when you’re about to go into labor and I was so extremely nauseous and also felt like I needed to have diarrhea. I sat on the toilet with a bucket on my lap for probably 30 minutes before deciding nothing was going to happen and really hoping that I wasn’t going into labor! (I also spent that 30 minutes looking at all the litter on the bathroom floor and thinking about how badly I wanted to sweep it up.) Jon sleeps on the couch usually, so I asked him to switch with me so I could sit up for awhile comfortably since laying down made it worse. I feel like whatever was on that sandwich really upset my stomach. I got super sick this pregnancy after eating a caper salmon recipe that Jon and I used to love and I think there was the same spice in both of those recipes. I ended up watching a bunch of Master Chef Juniors, falling back to sleep around 6am, and then staying on the couch until 2pm. Seriously. I got up once to pee in the morning and then around noon I decided to eat something and sat back on the couch to eat for the next two hours.

I had planned on gym time but accidentally forgot to go to the gym and went to Whole Foods first instead (I usually go to the gym and then head south to Whole Foods, but if I miss heading north on a specific highway to get to the gym, it messes it all up). I figured I’d just grab groceries and then head to the gym after, but I ended up feeling terrible again while walking around the store. So I came home, sat at the table, did homework for awhile, and then hung out with Jon once I started feeling a little better. I also folded all my cloth diaper laundry and am now prepared to diaper a newborn! And that was my exciting Friday.

I had to work all weekend and it was really busy. I was expecting a slow weekend since I worked last year over Super Bowl weekend and it was fantastic! Not so much this year. I’d say 8/24 hours were good and the other 16 hours were just ridiculous. I even transferred a baby down to our Children’s Hospital and when I got home, I realized I never even called report on the patient. (Thankfully the transport team for their hospital is fantastic so I wasn’t too worried about it.) But really, I’m just thrilled because this was my last time working two 12 hour shifts in a row before Jackson arrives! I was so exhausted after work both nights and these last two work weekends have caused me to have tons of Braxton Hicks contractions during my shifts… Hopefully my uterus is preparing to push Jackson out extra fast!

Today I stayed in bed till 10:30. I wanted to get up earlier but I was catching up on my sleep after working all weekend. Besides, I only get a few good hours of sleep before waking up with numb/painful hands, and then I sleep off and on usually from about 5am till whenever I get up. Apparently my sister had the same hand pain, except hers was so bad she couldn’t even hold a pen to write. My sister was also hugely swollen. But this hand pain is no joke. My left ring finger is stiff 24/7 now and it hurts all of my fingers to make a fist. Plus, my nerve in my right elbow has been causing me tons of pain (I have cubital tunnel syndrome in that arm). Honestly, aside from that pain and having to pee NONSTOP, I feel like things overall have improved from last week to this week. But the pain is getting worse every single day, so I’m dreading having it for the next month.

I spent the morning cleaning up from Jon’s Super Bowl party and working on school stuff. I went to the gym at 3:30 and felt fantastic on the elliptical for once! I still only did about 12 minutes but oh well! Then I had a decent leg workout. I just did step ups onto a bench, did deadlifts with a 45# dumbbell, and did a few squats holding a 20# plate. Then my back started spasming and I had to quit working out. But the part I did do felt good and I even started sweating just a little (I usually can’t even work up a sweat these days because I get too uncomfortable before I ever get to that point now). It was pretty cool realizing that in 3 1/2 weeks, I’ll have made my goal of working out for this entire pregnancy though. Granted, I’ve been averaging going to the gym twice a week recently and my workouts are definitely short and easy, but I’m still counting it and I’m almost there!

36 weeks, 2 days. Ignore my face. It’s looking  a hot mess. Also, notice Fluff coming to check out what’s going on. She has been SO needy lately. Maybe she can sense that Jackson is about to be here. Whatever the reason, I love it! Also, take notice of those fingers. It may not be so obvious, but these are some swollen fingers!

Anyway, Jon just walked in from work. I’m hoping to get the bookshelf in Jackson’s room taken apart tonight so that we can make some progress on the room! And I need to try and get some ideas for my paper so that I can start writing it this week! I’ll be back later on this week!

Ah Thursday 🙂 So glad to have another day off today! Actually, I’m so glad to have three days off this week. It’s amazing how much more I’m able to get done when I have three days in a row off instead of just one or two. Usually I’m on an every other day type of schedule, so my days off consist of sleeping and running errands and trying to make the house look decent (although skip that part currently). I feel like there’s never time to get any real schoolwork done on that schedule, so today was nice since I spent a solid three hours on schoolwork (and trying to get Tom to stop harassing Kitty) and actually made a fair amount of progress!

Yesterday was a no gym day. I thought I might go, but really, I ended up working on school stuff right up until it was time to shower and head to Gina’s. I had to go to the post office to pick up some packages. I hate the post office because it’s always so slow and it’s irritating because our mailbox is right next to our building, and I guess my mailbox was full the other day so they couldn’t deliver my mail. But USPS delivers stuff to my door all the time! So the guy could have literally walked 50 steps and put it on my doorstep instead of making me go all the way to the dang post office. The lady working there was super cheerful and helpful with everybody and making jokes! I handed her my little missed delivery slip that the postman left in my mailbox. She went and got my packages and came back and goes, “Your mailbox was too full to deliver this. If they can’t deliver your mail for 10 days, they’ll return it to sender.” And that was it. And she was rude about it too. I was like, “Okay, thanks.” I really wanted to be like, “Hey rude lady. I’m pregnant and got about 15 baby shower packages and diaper packages within a period of 5 days (I actually got about 8-10, but still) so there is no way it can all fit in my insanely tiny mailbox at my condo. And obviously I already checked my mail because I brought you the stupid tiny slip that they put in there instead of just leaving my packages on the doorstep like they do every other time!” But I didn’t. I was annoyed though.

Last night I went over to Gina’s to pick out a color for our bridesmaid dresses with Kassie. We also discussed taking a girls’ trip next year out of the country and now I’m just dying to travel! But… babies… We also were talking about Gina’s bachelorette party in June and I am so beyond excited to go on another weekend getaway with them! We’re going to leave Thursday and have everybody else join us on Friday evening. Although, it is totally weird making plans for stuff like this now because I have to think about the fact that if my parents can’t take off of work, then I will have to take Jackson with me and Jon will have to come out on Friday night to get Jackson. So, I’ll just keep my fingers crossed that my mom wants to take a day of vacation (she probably won’t mind) and that the breast/bottle thing is working well and that I have a stash big enough for 3 days saved up.

Tonight I’m hanging out with Laura! We’ll probably grab some dinner and maybe I can convince her to run to Target with me! I hate running errands lately and need to pick up some stuff from the store. I was in the bathroom the other day while Jon was in the shower and I smelled my conditioner! I was like, “Um, are you using MY conditioner?” and he was like, “Oh yeah, mine ran out the other day. I need to buy more.” I was like, “That is $40 conditioner! YOU CAN’T USE THAT ON YOUR HAIR!!!!!” and then he just laughed at me. And he probably just throws a ton on his hair that is barely even there anyway (seriously, he doesn’t even need conditioner at all) and is wasting all my good stuff! So I need to buy him more conditioner  as soon as possible so that I know he isn’t using mine. Men. Seriously. I bet he has still been using it every single day.

I just got home from the gym today. As soon as I walked in I just thought, wow, I really don’t want to be here. I even considered turning around and walking out but I was too embarrassed to walk right back by the girl who just scanned my member card. So I decided to suck it up and at least do 10 minutes on the elliptical. I did that and then I ended up actually having a really good arm workout. It was short, but I did dropsets and supersets (I did supersets in dropsets, actually) so it was still a good workout, just in a short period of time! Besides, I’m going back tomorrow so no reason to get too crazy today. I’m pretty limited on what I can do because of my back pain, so I didn’t want to use all my moves today.

Anyway, I should hop in the shower. I had Jon snap a picture of me just now though since I haven’t put up a bump picture lately. It’s pretty awful because the lighting is horrendous and I’m also in gym clothes (as usual). One of my patient’s moms the other day said I look too young to be pregnant. I’m not sure if people think these are compliments, but I just find it kind of offensive. I think I’m easy to annoy though because my patients think it’s appropriate to ask how much I weigh, how old I am, what size clothing I wear, etc. and it is really not appropriate. They also tell me how I look too young to be their nurse, too young to be married (and I can’t even fit into my wedding rings now so my patients also probably judge me for that), too young too young too young, blah blah blah. I never, ever tell patients my age unless we have developed a relationship where I don’t think it’s as rude of them to ask (I usually say that a lady never tells her age) but I was just like, “Um, I’m almost 30,” probably with attitude. And then she proceeded to tell me how I look way too young to be almost 30 and I just wanted to be like, “Whatever lady.” But I wasn’t. Instead I smiled and provided VERY GOOD care (just in case they read this and want to rate us on Press Ganey). (Also, can anybody believe that I’m actually almost 30?! When did this even happen?!)

But it really is rude to tell me that I look too young to be pregnant. I mean, what if I was 18 (and their nurse??? whatever)? Then that would be really offensive to be commenting on that. Or what if I was 22 and got pregnant accidentally, right out of college, and now all these people were telling me I looked too young. Rude. Or what if I’m almost 30, married, own my house and cars, have traveled all over, and they’re telling me I look too young? Well, now you’re just kind of annoying, cause I was responsible enough not to get pregnant till I thought I was ready (and then I decided I wasn’t and should have kept traveling but too late).

35 weeks, 5 days. My coworkers have also been telling me that I “look pregnant in my face,” which really just means that my face is getting fat. But I don’t notice it too much here. Maybe I’m just getting used to having a fatter face. I mean, my cankles are really starting to grow on me.

Apparently I just needed to get that off my chest, haha. Okay, time to shower now for real so I can be dressed when Laura gets here!