Hey guys! I really want to leave to go get my boy from daycare, but I actually feel like writing a post so I thought I would.
I’m officially in Charleston! I packed up all of our stuff on Monday and I left Tuesday morning at 8am. Jackson has a bad cold, so he slept most of the ride here. He did stick his hand inside the toilet (literally, he grabbed the inside of the front toilet bowl rim) while I was going to the bathroom in McDonald’s on our drive) and I had to let him walk around McDonald’s with no shoes, but other than that, everything went well! We got here pretty early and Jackson was SO playful, which was a nice change from his mood since I got home from Poland on Sunday. He was having so much fun exploring!
Jon was planning on being gone till later last night, but he switched things up so he could come home to see Jackson. I headed out to run errands around 7pm, after trying to get the house together the best I could. Although things are great with Jon and me lately, it still annoys me to no end that after living here alone for two months, he hasn’t done anything with the house. The office is in the same shitty condition as when I left in early December. How come I’m taking care of our son, working, working on school, staying up to clean bottles and make Jackson lunches for daycare, cleaning up all of our messes, and he is coming home from work and…? I don’t even know what he has been doing.
I wish I was better at letting things go! But I guess I just feel like he knows how much I have to have a clean house. I can’t concentrate in a messy house. It stresses me out. I can’t relax. So I don’t care how messy our house got while I was gone, but I wish he could clean it up for us. I got home to choking hazards everywhere and no baby gate down our super long, wooden staircase.
But anyway, since I’ve been home from Poland, I’ve been jet lagged which is actually nice! I’ve been waking up super early and I’ve been loving it! So today I set my alarm for 6am and got up and showered and got ready. Jackson slept until 7am (thankfully- my parents said he woke 3 times while I was on vacation which is so unlike him, and he woke early there from having a cold, but has been totally fine since I’ve been home with his sleep) so we got his lunch made and then I took him to his new daycare by 8:15!
I am still feeling so unsure of this daycare. I know I just got lucky with my last daycare, but in the 5 months Jackson was there, I almost never heard babies crying there. They all had so many toys to play with and so much to do, and I just worry that this daycare will be boring. Jackson is the only one walking in the new room and there is hardly anything to play with. It really does make me so sad that he doesn’t have Pilar and Miss Betty (his other daycare ladies) because he loves them so much. I know Jackson will be back to his other daycare in 6 months, but still… I just feel so sad about this switch and I really hope he’s happy there. Man, the feelings involved with being a mom!
Once I filled out tons of paperwork (and Jackson cried when I left- he NEVER does), I headed to Whole Foods to stock up on some stuff. Then I came home and have been cleaning since! I just sat down out on the porch to eat lunch before going to grab Jackson.
I’m feeling super motivated to get our life together! I say that like we don’t have our lives together, haha, but after living in my parent’s house for so long after selling our house, it feels so good to be home. I’m going back to Georgia on Friday morning until Monday afternoon (to work) and have to go back for a work class on the 22nd and 23rd, but we’re finally home! Maybe it’s just the sunny, 60 degree weather, but I’m just so happy today!
I can’t wait to work out. I’m planning on looking at the gym next week. I don’t know if I’m going to do a regular gym or CrossFit yet. If I could get up and do the 6am class regularly, that would work. But I like the flexibility with a regular gym. So, I’m not sure. I may do both? I think the regular gym is $40 a month (including childcare), so our gym costs would be similar to what they have been in the past if I do that and CrossFit. My foot was great the week before Poland, but then it bothered me almost the entire time we were in Poland, but now it has felt fine since being home. We walked a ton while we were there so I’m sure that caused it pain, but I’m hoping working out will go well. I’m too impatient to let this thing heal any longer!
I’m also exited to eat better. I wasn’t eating great at my parent’s house and only took time to make Jackson healthy food. I would eat what my mom made (usually pasta or something) and ate all of their snacks. I just want to feel better. So many nights there I went to bed feeling bloated and disgusting, and woke up with that nagging annoying feeling in my belly.
I’m also feeling like my body just needs to get back to normal. Jackson is one in three weeks, so there’s no more “you just had a baby” excuse. I know I had a stress fracture that took me out of working out for awhile and just a lot going on, but still. My legs are so thin, my butt is so flat, my belly sticks out from my loosened abs that stretched around a baby. My pants all hang off of me. My boobs are finally back to normally since I officially quit pumping (which is probably why waking up early seems so freeing- I don’t have to pump anymore!), although I think they actually got smaller. So I need to get resized and get some better fitting bras. I was looking at pictures the other day of when Jon and I went to Italy together and my body is just so different. I miss my muscles! And I know I won’t be in that kind of shape again and I don’t even care to get there again, but I just want this body to feel more like mine again!
I’m excited to have days to explore alone in Charleston! To walk around and get brunch and coffee in a leisurely manner or to do schoolwork in a cafe if I want! Jackson is in daycare three days a week, so right now, it’ll be Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and will shift on the weeks that I have to go back to Georgia so that he’ll be there when I’m in Georgia without him. I’m already sad that we have to go back to Georgia in September and wish we could just keep our family together all the time. It’s going to be hard going back and forth again, especially because it’ll be for nine months instead of two.
Anyway, I’m craving some baby time! I wish Jackson’s stroller was here (I had to leave it in GA since I didn’t have space in my car- I’m getting it this weekend) so we could go for a walk! Or I wish he had shoes that fit so he could walk around outside with me! The ones I bought were too big, so I ordered some more off Amazon today that are a smaller size. They better fit him! But I’m off to go get him and I’m crossing my fingers that I pick up a happy baby, or I think my heart might be broken!