I’m totally lacking motivation lately for school. Part of it is this beautiful weather and part of it is this dang house!
We’re in negotiations with our buyer right now. She came back asking for a lot after the home inspection (a new breaker for the AC unit, fixing live wires to the disposal, a new water heart, service the HVAC, fix the threshold for our door, clean out dryer vents) and we’re giving her a home warranty! Frankly, I was more than irritated. In my mind, when you buy a house, you won’t get a perfect house. You WILL do some work. We probably spent $6000 on the floors and updating electrical outlets, getting a new disposal, and we also fixed a leak as soon as we moved in (and that was $500 in the first few weeks!). We did address $250 worth of safety issues, but she is dead set on this water heater. Ours is 6 years past the life expectancy and it is right next to the wood floors, so I get that it is a potential issue if it leaks. So you better fix it real quick when you move in. I think I’m feeling a little less likely to negotiate because I’ve realized that I don’t care to move, but Jon is chomping at the bit to get out of here. So, we’re waiting right now. We basically gave her three options (we either increase closing costs and no water heater, we give her the water heater but we won’t pay as much at closing and no home warranty, or we pay more at closing and we raise the price on the condo) but she may not like any of them. Who knows. I’m SO OVER IT. We already gave her $4,000 off asking and are selling the condo now for the same price as the ones that needed a lot of work in the same complex. So, come on. I’m over this girl. Especially because I have school, work, and a baby, and getting all this shit serviced for somebody else to come live here isn’t what I feel like doing. My life is already about to turn upside down when we sell this place, so stop stressing me out.
Gym efforts have been nonexistent. Woops. Honestly, I don’t care. I plan on going tonight, but I have mastitis again (my fault- I tried to pop my Montgomery gland when it was puss filled) and didn’t want my boobs shaking all over the place. So I skipped last night and part of me was just not in the mood to go. Jon was out of town all weekend and we had to figure out the house negotiations and literally spent all night going back and forth with the buyer. Sometimes I kind of have to remind myself that while I would love to be back in the habit of working out 4-6 days a week, even if just for a little bit, that I still live a pretty active life. Could it be better? Absolutely. And one day, I will get there. But overall, this time after having a baby isn’t really breaking me and shortening my life expectancy. I still am walking around nonstop at work. I still get down on my hands and knees and scrub floors and clean bathrooms. I still carry the carseat with Jackson into daycare every day (not close!). I may not be up to par with my old level of activity, but I’m still not a sedentary person by any means. And being healthy isn’t really about one day or even one month, but about the bigger picture. And over the last 7 years since starting CrossFit (and really, 8 years since I went to Iraq, because that was where I started working out), I have been really healthy, overall. Even if I eat kind of like shit right now, it’s not permanent. Eating a whole box of brownies in three days isn’t going to break me. It just made me feel terrible, but that box of brownies isn’t going to kill me.
Jon and I are finally sort of getting back on the same page. We’ve had a rough month. Totally rough. Like, talked about separation. I don’t even know why. We should totally go to marriage counseling but is it bad that I don’t feel like paying out of pocket for it? We should, because this marriage has to last a lifetime. But I think I just get so irritated and so overwhelmed by the thought of selling the house that I stop thinking about marriage as being a lifelong commitment and think that divorce is an option for us. And it’s really not. Neither of us really believe in it unless things get seriously terrible and major efforts have been made to repair the marriage, but we are so not at that point yet. So, I need to remind myself that we are in this together and even though I may be seriously annoyed with Jon or feel like we are not connecting at all, that this is really totally normal. There is no way for a married couple to be on the same page all the time (or if there is, props to those couples, because we are not those people!). We have an entire life to spend together and hopefully we like each other 75% of that time, but really? There will be kinks. We’ll have to overcome things together. We’ll be fine. I just really should probably stop being so overdramatic. I bet that would solve a lot of our problems. (Don’t tell Jon I said that.)
Things with my little J buddy are going so so, haha. He’s such a fussy pants lately. Drives me CRAZY! Know what else drives me crazy? That Jon gets irritated when he gets home from work if I hand him Jackson right away. He needs time to relax. But when I go to work, I leave and go get J immediately and come home and he doesn’t want to be put down and he fusses nonstop and I don’t get a break. And my days at work are way more annoying than Jon’s. Have you dealt with ER patients before? But anyway, J has just been in a fussy period lately. He’s in leap 5 (a developmental leap) and this leap lasts for like, a month. And it is so freaking annoying. This morning I laid him down for a nap and he started crying, so I picked him up because he was hysterical. He normally calms down and I can lay him back down, but today was just too much for him. He SCREAMED for like, 20 minutes and finally I got out a paci (he is not a paci baby- I don’t even know the last time we gave him one- probably when he was 2 months old) and he sucked on it for a second and totally calmed down and fell asleep while I was walking him around. Part of me finds it irritating as hell, and the other part of me sort of loves it because I know it’s just the phase he is going through and realizing that we can leave him. He can be really cuddly sometimes and that is so not like him, but it really does melt my heart, but other times there is just nothing I can do to make him happy. He may not cry all the time, but he won’t be happy laying down and he will be such a wiggle worm if I hold him. It’s like, WTF do you want, kid?! But he gives us hugs now! When I picked him up this morning, he literally looked at me and smiled and then threw his arms around my neck and it was the cutest thing ever. His hugs are the best.
I had breakfast with another mom this weekend. Another FB mom. Haha. Online mom dating is the best. She was actually really cool and her son is 10 months old, so it was fun. We sat the babies in highchairs next to each other and they just grabbed at each other. It’s nice having mom friends who understand how distracting babies are. I felt like we would start talking about something and I’d want to ask more questions but then, oh wait, Jackson is trying to pull my plate off the table or knock my water out of my hand while I’m taking a sip. I think we’re going to try to meet up soon without the babies. I would have left them at home this past weekend, but Jon was out of town so I had to take Jackson.
Anyway, I should go. I’m going to pump and then hopefully go to the pool since it is finally cooling off outside and feels great! I barely have been outside all summer and now I’m feeling like I need to soak in the great outdoors before it turns into winter (we have time, I know). I also feel like I need to soak in this pool because nobody goes to the pool at this condo complex and I know if we move into a neighborhood, the relaxing pool days are over. The pools in Georgia turn into a madhouse in the summer! I should really be writing my papers so I can get ahead on some schoolwork before we go to Florida to see Jon’s family, but that doesn’t sound like fun. My brain is so fried with this house stuff that I can’t focus on school. I just got a prescription yesterday for Xanax and Sonata (Ambien with a shorter duration- GENIUS!!!!) for my flight out to Tahoe and I feel like I should just take the whole bottle of Xanax and sleep until our closing in September, if we ever get there.