The Love of a Husband and Wife

I changed my mind for this post but I can do that cause it’s my blog! But really… I did make it through the pictures I wanted to get through and will post them soon.

Today I went to New Hampshire with ehvid. We had planned on some hiking or whatever but mostly just drove around the White Mountains and did some sightseeing! I’m absolutely loving all the sightseeing up here! Amazing sights! After I dropped her back off, I stopped by Whole Foods and was so excited to find that it was the one that Jon and I went to that had fried plantains and strawberry shortcake! So of course, I ate my dinner!

But I was just lonely tonight. I don’t know if my two days of exploring without him got to me. I’ve always been very independent and have always taken trips without him and we used to be long distance! We even broke up for over a year! I knew that I’d miss him terribly while I’m traveling for work, but I think I’m surprised at how much. It’s hard for me to really define what I mean by “missing” him. I don’t miss him like I’ve missed him or my ex boyfriends in the past. I miss him in an entirely different way.

I still am grateful to be living this life that I have. This is what I love to do. I love to travel. I love seeing new places and exploring new things. I never cared about getting married but I have wanted to see the world since I took my first trip to Italy in 2007. If there is one thing I’m passionate about, this would be it. I believe that marriage is making sure your partner fulfills his goals (I’m using his cause I feel this way about Jon) and that he doesn’t grow old wishing he had done something differently or feel that his marriage held him back.

Tonight Jon told me that this is what I chose to do, so missing him was basically my choice. Was it? Absolutely. I did choose this. I chose to continue down the path that I wanted for my life, knowing that at the end of this fork in the road, the roads will meet back up. I knew I’d be leaving my husband at home while I work in other cities. I know that everything you do in life is technically a choice, but I also think that what you love sometimes just presents itself. I was never raised in a family that travels and I never really cared to travel much growing up. But, on a whim, my friend asked me if I wanted to go to Italy with her before I deployed and I said yes. I was hooked. If I take one trip, I’m hungry for another. It’s what I absolutely love. Would I rather enjoy painting? Yes. Traveling breaks the bank and it takes a lot of time from work. It’s hard to do with a big girl job and big girl bills. But I can’t make myself want to just stay at home and stop exploring.

When he was telling me that I chose this (and I believe he said that it was hard to be supportive of me missing him), I know he wasn’t being angry or harsh or anything, but it just seems careless. I have always supported his dreams of med school (though he isn’t there), and know that if I still have my house or just get a new job, I will be staying in Georgia while he goes to med school. It’s the sacrifice that I feel you make in a marriage to ensure than your spouse is happy in their life too. But Jon and I do have very different views of marriage because we were raised with very different examples of what a marriage should be (maybe another post- maybe not).

Anyway, to get back on topic… I really just missed him. I wanted to drive home and see him and just hang out at home with him and the cats and watch a movie together. I wanted to be in a familiar place and go get dinner together. When I think about this week or next week without him, it’s fine. But when I think about having another 8 weeks or more before I see him, it’s a long time. And then I know that I’ll be packing up again to go across the country without him to do this all over again. (Plans may change.) Life just isn’t the same without him here.

The love I have for him as my husband is completely different than the love I had for him as my boyfriend. I can’t explain why, but it is. And I’m sure if we had kids, the love I’d have for him as the father of my children would be different too. But we may never make it there!

Love Saturdays!

I have had such an unproductive day as far as studying goes! After spending all morning working on an essay for our test on Tuesday, I found the information when I sat down (finally) at 8pm tonight and rewrote the entire essay in 10 minutes. Ugh. And I’ve only done maybe 3-4 hours total of studying today. Not great. And that was mostly spent playing with the cats.

I noticed it was sunny out while making some breakfast this morning and was really excited thinking Jon would be home early enough from work to go to Stone Mountain with me! I was also really wanting to go sit outside at some cute place to eat somewhere new! Unfortunately, his first case started late at the hospital so he was there for almost the entire day. Luckily, Crista was able to meet up with me at Piedmont Park for an afternoon walk! I spent a good 45 minutes getting to the park because of a really minor accident on 85 and rubberneckers ruining my drive for me.

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By the way, my hair looked really good today and I didn’t even get it in the picture. Like, really really good. Anybody with wavy hair knows how exciting that it.

Crista wanted to go for a run but there’s still no way I could possibly run with these sick lungs. So we enjoyed an hour long walk all over the park and then I had to head back home. My drive home was spent in an hour of traffic because of road work trying to get on 400 and I thought I was going to lose my mind. You know when you get stuck in road work traffic on a Saturday afternoon unexpectedly, after getting stuck in rubbernecker traffic on your way to your hour long walk in the park when you’re supposed to be studying for a test anyway? Irritating. But I managed not to be too insanely miserable because I could at least have my windows down today while my car was at a standstill.

Since traffic had me backed up, I had Jon drive my mom’s car up to their house and meet me there (my car has been all better so far, thanks to Jon for fixing it for me!). I had planned on staying for a few to look at their Puerto Rico pictures since they just got home today, but then my mom mentioned making French toast for dinner so we stayed! Sadly, I really don’t spend nearly as much time with my parents as I used to and I really should. Working with so many elderly people really makes me appreciate my mom and dad so I need to spend more time with them while I can! Also, my mom makes pretty bitchin’ French toast and since I don’t buy bread, it’s my chance to eat things I wouldn’t eat at home (like grilled cheese or fried egg sandwiches!).

As soon as we got home after dinner, I started back on biology. I found Jon asleep on the couch at 9 and then found him in bed at 10, so I guess he’s having an early night! I’m super excited because I’m meeting Gina at the gym for yoga in the morning! I don’t even like yoga but I’ve been kind of bummed that my first week of getting back into the gym for good was spent being sick instead! I think I’ll get there a little early and try to run at least 2 miles and maybe do some squats or deadlifts or something. And hopefully meeting her there will start my day off productively and I’ll stay on track with biology (that’s not going to happen).