Weekend Ramblings, Baby Ramblings, Workout Ramblings

Happy Monday! It doesn’t even feel like Monday! I guess cause I only worked Sunday this weekend, so my body is confused. Friday night, Jon and I decided to finally start out baby registry! We headed over to Babies R’ Us and started scanning away! It was kind of fun but also kind of stressful. We realized we needed to look up safety ratings for car seats and wanted to research the bigger items and also the body wash type stuff to make sure we’re using something chemical free. After coming home and reading ewg.org, I think I feel like our baby is destined to just get cancer in the future because of all the chemicals in products in the US.

I had planned on working out Saturday morning, but when I woke up, I decided I wanted to finally get breakfast with Jon at Sun in my Belly instead! We showered and headed downtown to go eat, but ended up standing in line for 45 minutes. Oh well. It was worth it! We each ordered a full meal and split a full meal, so I was stuffed by the time we left!

Jon and I ran some errands and tried to find him sweaters at Nordstrom Rack, but I ended up finding a few t-shirts that are more maternity friendly. They’re just longer t-shirts, but at least they’ll cover my belly! We decided to head home afterwards and I crashed on the couch for 2 hours while Jon finished up his errands.

I finally drug myself off the couch at 4pm to go have dinner with my mom and dad for my mom’s birthday! My brother ended up coming too and I haven’t seen him in months. We went out for Mexican, which I enjoyed despite still being sort of full for breakfast. We were also celebrating Jon’s recent birthday (October 19) and my dad getting a new job! I was secretly (not secretly at all, actually) hoping my dad would retire (he is over retirement age) so he could watch Jackson when he’s born, but my dad loves to work too much. So, despite my free babysitter being gone, I’m still really glad my dad found a job since he’s happiest when he’s working! (I have no idea why that gene skipped me, but I would love it if I loved to work as much as my dad does.)

I laid down when we got home to read, and I’m assuming I just didn’t digest any food once I laid down. Around 10pm, right when I was going to go to sleep, I ended up getting really sick feeling. I only threw up once, but it was basically my entire dinner. I was worried that it was some sort of food poisoning at first because certain types of food poisoning can cross the placenta, so it always gets me so worried if I randomly get sick after eating! It really just reminds me how much I want a healthy baby and I’d be devastated if anything happened to Jackson at this point. (Thankfully, I’m getting close to 24 weeks, which is when the NICU can really work some miracles and that makes me feel a bit more reassured.) After I threw up though, I felt much better than I had and fell right to sleep.

I’ve still not been feeling great. I wonder if I just got to the point in pregnancy where my digestion has slowed down too much and I was still eating huge meals. I also tend to drink a ton with meals, and drinking with meals actually hinders digestion (other countries don’t really do drinks with meals like we do). So now I’m trying to eat smaller meals and not drink anything at all while I eat, in hopes of it helping. My appetite still took a huge turn from where it was just a few days ago though. I get hungry, but nothing sounds good and nothing seems to sit well right now. The joys of pregnancy.

Yesterday I worked all day. I had to work with the adults for the first four hours of my shift, and I had a really, really, really difficult drug seeking patient that really irritated me for the entire four hours. I got rid of him right before heading over to the children’s side, and let me tell you, I was so insanely happy to get back to my kids! Unfortunately, the children’s ER ended up being slammed all day long, while hardly any adults came in at all! I rocked an IV on a 7 year old (it was easy- he had a good vein), but I didn’t even get nervous before going in there. It’s little things like that that remind me of my progress as a peds nurse. I used to get so nervous about starting IVs in kids, and now it’s not as traumatizing (for me).

Last night I had to go let Andrew’s (Jon’s friend) dog out since he lives right by my work. Except I forgot. And drove all the way home before I remembered. So I spent almost 90 minutes in the car after working. I’ve never met Andrew’s dog and considering that I’ve been bit by three dogs (two of them were my friends and I knew the dogs, and one ran up to me while I was running and bit my leg), I get nervous around dogs that I don’t know. I went into his house and his dog was hiding from me, and then his dog started growling and barking. No way was I messing with that dog! Jon said she’s super sweet and she probably wouldn’t have done anything, but I wasn’t about to test that theory out.

My pregnancy hormones made me emotional about not being able to let his dog out, so I got a little teary on my way home and I was just feeling inadequate. And really, I am not sensitive at all about my fear of random dogs. I was never scared of them till I got older and was bit by the three dogs. Even after the second one, I wasn’t too fearful, but the third just made me have no interest in random dogs. Goes to show what pregnancy hormones will do to you though. (I should totally make a blog post of all the things I cry about now that I’m pregnant.)

This morning I went to work out and it was decent. I had worked out at CrossFit on Friday, but we had to run and with my first run, I got a ton of cramping in my belly again and had to walk. That night, Jon and I tried to go on a walk, but I started cramping up as soon as we started moving faster. (I had been at the table writing a paper all afternoon so hadn’t noticed earlier.) This morning, we were doing glute bridges and I got sharp pains in my belly. I’m assuming it’s just ligament or muscular pain since everything is stretched out and it’s superficial pain, but still, I just don’t do whatever makes it hurt. So my workouts have felt lame lately. Although, I did a good one this morning regardless. My workout tops are all getting too tight and I had to take my shirt off this morning because it was so annoying stuck to my belly once I started sweating. I really don’t want to invest in maternity workout clothes, so maybe I’ll just start going topless again. Let this baby hang out.

Mmmkay, I just finished breakfast and my cup of tea, so time to get started on my paper. Ugh. I’m so over grad school. Five more semesters to go after this one. (That was depressing.) I’m heading over to my parent’s house tonight most likely to spend the night, but I’m not positive yet. I have to work tomorrow and am dreading it for some reason. I just dread going into my PCU/tele job now. I think cause the mornings are such a hassle with getting report and giving the morning meds, but then the afternoons are usually decent. The mornings just make me dread it though.

Birthday Dinner at Capital Grille

Good morning from my couch, at 7:30am on my day off. I wake up every single day at 5:30 to pee, but some mornings it’s hard to fall back to sleep. I have a lot more discomfort when I’m sleeping than I used to and quite frankly, laying down in bed just isn’t what it used to be. So, might as well get up early and be productive.

I’m kidding about the productive part. I ate two oatmeal cookies, drank tea, and watched an episode of Guy’s Grocery Games while trying to get one of the cats to cuddle with me. For the record, the cats are not interested in me this morning.

Yesterday was a total productivity fail. My house? Still a mess. However, my microwave and fridge?! Spotless! After cleaning the kitchen (so I did at least get the kitchen done), I randomly got the urge to clean out my fridge. I probably take everything out twice a year and clean out the drawers and get rid of expired condiments, so it was time. And my fridge just looks so good. And my microwave too. So, even though the rest of the house that actually matters is a disaster, the fridge is clean. I’ll get to the rest of the house today though. I hope. I have a lot of plans at the beginning of my days lately and usually end up sitting on the couch instead, but whatever.

Jon and I went to our very expensive fancy birthday date night dinner last night! I decided to actually get all fancied up for him, which is really rare. For some reason, I’ll get fancy(ish) to go hang out with friends occasionally, but then I throw on jeans and a t-shirt to go anywhere with Jon. #marriedlife I successfully curled my hair with my wand last night. I’m definitely getting better, even if it’s taking a long time. Then again, I curl my hair like, once every 4-6 months. Ain’t nobody got time for that. And I really suck at using curling irons, which I think are way faster than wands. But I just can’t get the hang of them.

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I’m clearly rambling unnecessarily here. I should not type blog posts when I’m tired at 7:30am.

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I don’t know why Jon didn’t tell me to fix my hairs sticking up all over the place before taking this. This was also right after curling my hair, so the curls hadn’t relaxed yet. Also, this dress was definitely not a maternity dress and got way shorter when I was walking around. Totally bunched up all around this baby.

So, anyway, we went to Capital Grille in Buckhead. Jon went there with a client before and loved his steak and I told him to pick where he wanted to eat. Definitely the nicest place I’ve ever dined before. But it was kind of awesome. I mean, every time I stood up (which was just twice- once to pee and once to leave), a guy magically appeared to pull out my chair! And my biggest pet peeve of not getting refills? After every sip I took, the same guy appeared to refill my water! Like, how does he know that I just drank some water?! If only we were rich, we would experience this more often. (Jon did point out that if we don’t go to Paris in December, we could eat at Capital Grille every week until the end of the year. Thanks. Not happening.)

Anyway, we ate our bread and then I had a butternut squash bisque that was delicious. I think any squash soup is fantastic. I decided to go with salmon for dinner since I tend to be really picky with steaks and I also like them pretty pink on the inside, which is not recommended in pregnancy. So, I’m just staying away from steak until I can have a nice, pink center safely. The salmon was good, but I think I’m just not feeling salmon lately. Last time I ate it (which was months ago), I got sick and threw up all night long. And the last time we bought cod, we didn’t cook it for 3 days and it was insanely fishy and I no longer ever want anything but canned tuna (coming from a girl who loved fish before- maybe it’s the baby/bad recent experiences combo). So, the fish was good, but it was a larger portion and I was kind of over it. Also, apparently the meat is really the main dish at those places, cause nothing came out at all with Jon’s steak and mine had a few green beans. I get tired of eating the same thing after a few bites and like to switch it up, so I would have loved some sides. Maybe sides aren’t a fine dining thing though. For dessert, we both got creme brûlée and it was heavenly! I love a good creme brûlée! I also asked for a birthday candle in Jon’s since it’s his birthday, and because of that, they gave us dessert to take home for free (they apparently do dessert on the house for birthdays, but we didn’t know that).

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So, after getting home, I dug into the cheesecake that they provided. OMG. OMG. Guys. I love cheesecake. Like, love cheesecake. If I had to pick a favorite dessert, it’d be cheesecake. But I like good cheesecake. And I only like plain cheesecake because why would you ever ruin something so delicious by adding to it?! This cheesecake was like the best thing I have ever tasted. First of all, it was so soft and creamy. Second of all (secondly? second?), it had a brûlée topping. It was mind blowing. I think I’m going to go to Capital Grille and order like, 10 cheesecakes at a time. (I’m totally kidding- that would be $100 worth of cheesecake and that thing was way too small. It was not actually an entire pan size of cheesecake, as it could appear in that picture. Dissappointing.)

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This picture is not my picture. It’s from the Capital Grille website. But just check out that perfection.

We hung out for a bit at once we got home, and then Jon asked me when I was going to bed. Apparently he wanted to hang out without me for awhile. He always sleeps on the couch cause he hates our bed, so I guess he just wanted to stretch out. So much for loving his wife. (I kid. He loves me.) I passed out and slept great till 5:30 this morning!

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Fun fact: This picture and the 20 week picture of me are taken in front of walls that are the exact same color. We have really great lighting in our house.

Okay, well, I suppose I should go watch one more episode of Guy’s Grocery Games and then hopefully, I’ll be able to motivate myself to a) drag my ass to the gym or b) drag my ass to anywhere in my house to start cleaning. What will really happen is probably more along the lines of napping on the couch and not getting up till close to noon. I really need to work on grad school stuff today too, plus tonight is a clinic night so I have to head out around 4:30ish for that. I kind of hate having my Tuesday nights off taken up by sitting in traffic and then volunteering, but at the same time, I love the volunteering part and love the clinic, so I deal with it.

Last side note: Jackson has been moving like crazy lately. And his movements are all the way up to my belly button now! He’s such a big boy! I still wish I could keep him in my belly forever. I have no desire to meet him at all yet. I love him moving around in my belly, but I just don’t want him to come out and be a real baby anytime soon. Like, for at least a few years. At the rate we’re going now, we’re going to be like the Jewish people and have to buy all our baby stuff after he’s born. We haven’t bought one thing yet for him. Oh well.

Gender Reveal Party and CrossFit

Happy Thursday! I’m off today (obviously) and tomorrow, but it’s back to work this weekend! Sad face.

Monday was another missed workout day. I had my very first case of vertigo that put me out of the gym at 10am due to lack of sleep and fear of the vertigo coming back with changing positions too much. So I spent the majority of my day lazing around and watching trash TV.

Monday evening was my Gender Reveal “Party.” I went in the afternoon to CamiCakes to pick up a random assortment of cupcakes to stuff with colored icing myself.

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I had to buy myself a mini one to eat right away and it was SO GOOD. I’ve never had CamiCakes before but I’m sold. I’m not a huge cake person in general, but something about this baby is making me crave sweets nonstop and I’ve been really wanting cupcakes lately. It was like a little piece of heaven. Far better than any other cupcake I’ve ever had.

I spent the afternoon cooking and stuffing the cupcakes with green food coloring (it went fairly well, except one ended up with no green icing inside and Gina was the poor recipient of that one, so she didn’t get the surprise, haha).

Kassie, Gina, and Laura were all here by 6pm! We cut the cake for the reveal and they were all excited about a baby boy! They all thought I was having a girl cause they thought I would have been more depressed if it was a boy, haha. I’m still disappointed about having a boy, but I’m excited too. It’s still going to be my baby. We all ate some chili (yay chili! it’s fall!) and took ridiculous photos. Then we dug into our cupcakes and let me just tell you, if you can get to a CamiCakes, order a cinnamon swirl and a sweet potato cupcake. Those two were out of this world. I told myself like a month ago today that I’d start eating better, but it’s taking all of my willpower not to go get more cupcakes.

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Tuesday and Wednesday were work days for me. Unfortunately, my amazing pregnancy took a bit of a turn and I’m now having some horrible lower back pain. I couldn’t figure out what exactly was going on but it was making work absolutely miserable. Last night, Jon massaged my lower back and everything was extremely painful. I woke up with back pain last night (and Jackson going crazy in my belly).

We did make it out to trivia last night, which was a lot of fun but also kind of miserable to sit in a booth for two hours. I’m feeling more comfortable with the trivia group (there are only usually 6 or 7 of us) so it’s more enjoyable to go to now. I’m hoping we start back up with going since it’s nice to have some social time.

This morning I was supposed to go to an 8am CrossFit class via ClassPass, but instead I set my alarm for 8am. Awesome. They seemed laid back last time I went (most CrossFit gyms are), so I went to the 10am class instead. I was still uncomfortable before going (but my back pain wasn’t as bad- it’s usually not until after being on my feet for a few hours during the day and then it just gets miserable) but I will say that this has been one of my harder workouts for sure. Running makes me have to pee with every. single. step. so I rowed for my 2nd and 3rd rounds (800m each) and that was miserable too. I have to row at a pace of 2:35-2:55/500m in order to breathe enough where I feel like Jackson gets some Os too, and then I can’t lean forward cause it feels like I have a watermelon in my pelvis and I can’t lean back cause it strains my abs. And my back pain started up during the workout and yeah, rough. But I’m not quitting the gym if I can avoid it. I’ll just suffer and waddle through workouts if I have to.

I did read today that this is the time where my ligaments loosen up and your center of gravity really starts shifting, so lower back pain is a common complaint now. I was relieved to read that cause I really felt like it was way too early to be having back pain (I’ve only gained 10lbs) and everybody at work seemed so surprised when I told them how I was feeling. The stuff I read didn’t mention if it gets better though. I have an OB appointment tomorrow, so I’m going to discuss it with my doctor.

Today will be spent doing schoolwork and heading over to my parent’s house. I’m spending the night there since I haven’t seen them in awhile and they’ll be going out of town soon. My doctor is closer to their house anyway. I need to finish up a book too cause Monday is our next book club meeting and I’m only 14 pages into our book. Oops.

I’ll leave you all with a picture of me today (excuse everything but my belly- I just got home from the gym). I’m finally at the point of feeling like I actually look like I’m pregnant instead of just looking like I drink too many beers. I also felt like my belly was stuck at the same size for weeks on end and these last two days I’ve felt bigger. (I’ll be 18 weeks on Saturday.)

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Mary Mac’s, Gender Reveal, Taste of Atlanta, Trainwreck, and Cat Cuddles

What a crazy weekend already and it’s not even over yet (thankfully!). Yesterday was another no gym day. I haven’t gone since Tuesday, but I guess after starting back at CrossFit regularly, maybe my body just needed a break. I haven’t really felt like working out so I figure I should take a few days off. Instead, I managed to finally clean our entire house- bathrooms and floors included! About dang time. I also may have had the Whole Foods hot bar for breakfast, consisting of French toast and quiche. And bacon. I also may have spooned with FatCat while catching up on trashy TV.

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Jon got home from work around 5 and we finished a few things around the house. We had been planning on a fancy date night last night for quite some time, but we lost the gift card we were going to use. We decided we might as well go out somewhere else in hopes of finding the gift card later on, but then I decided I didn’t feel like getting super fancy. Instead, I showered and threw on a dress and we headed out the door.

16 weeks pregnant

16 weeks 6 days pregnant.

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I was really in the mood for Mary Mac’s, which is a famous southern restaurant in Atlanta. We definitely didn’t even need to be in dresses to go there, but it was still fun to get somewhat dressed up (since I usually live in Target v-necks). Jon has never been there and I’ve only gone twice, but it was better than I remembered! I stuffed my face and felt so incredibly full afterwards (I used to never eat to the point of being full before getting pregnant- I need to stop because it is such an awful feeling).

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Sweet potato soufflé on the left there was AMAZING. Also, chicken pot pie, fried green tomatoes, and mac & cheese. All so freaking delicious.

We talked about going out and doing something after since our date literally lasted a whole 45 minutes, but one of us (not me) had a bathroom emergency so we went home. Totally fine with me though. We’ve already talked about how much I love sleeping lately.

Turns out, I did a lot of tossing and turning last night in anticipation of our gender reveal ultrasound this morning! I was up at 7am and wanting to sleep! I thought about going to the gym, but instead cuddled with Tom and Jon and I tried to eat breakfast. Unfortunately, I was feeling pretty sick from eating so unhealthy yesterday. Jon and I decided to go get coffee before our appointment, so we got ready and left.

I decided there was no way I could drink any coffee with how disgusting I was feeling, but then I ended up getting a quiche at a new French place we decided to try, Douceur de France. The quiche was delicious and I’d definitely go back, but I left feeling even worse (surprise).

We got to our appointment for our gender reveal a few minutes early. We read some horrible reviews about the place on Yelp, but it was totally great! We were in and out within 20 minutes. Once we got back to the room, I took my seat on the table. They have the ultrasound screen projected up onto the wall so it’s huge. Of course, I was pretty much just dying to hear that this baby is a girl! The ultrasound tech (who was fantastic) started out by finding the head and showing us the spine. The baby was laying on its side. She played the heartbeat for us and it made me cry! I cried hearing the heartbeat at the last ultrasound too, and even just listening to it at the doctor’s office for 15 seconds got me all choked up. I don’t know what it is about hearing the heartbeat! Anyway, she had to poke and prod the baby around to get it to spread its legs. I had no idea what was on the screen, but Jon said, “I think I see what I need to see!” I was totally hoping he was wrong about that cause he wanted a boy! After another minute or so, the ultrasound tech said, “Well, that’s a boy! There’s one leg and there’s the other, and there’s the tip of the penis!” AH NO! Not even going to lie, I was totally disappointed! I was so sure it was a girl! I’m still mourning the loss of my future mother/daughter relationship too! We didn’t get any pictures (you had to pay another $20 so we decided to wait until we get them for free at the doctor’s office) and we weren’t allowed to take any, so it was completely an undocumented experience. Fine by me. I don’t think I’ll forget it. We left and made some calls and sent some texts and went on with our day, with our new baby boy in my belly! His name is Jackson, but we have yet to pick out a middle name. But we may just go with the first name only. We’re considering skipping the middle name. Also, I have determined that I definitely can feel Jackson moving. I’ve felt what feels like a rolling down in my lower abdomen when I lay flat at times, but it usually happens once and not again for a few days. Tonight, I felt it like crazy. I could even feel little blubs on the outside which is surprising, but I’m so thin that I’m guessing it’s not as hard to feel big movements on the outside.

After we left, we swung by the house to grab ponchos and headed to Atlanta for Taste of Atlanta. You basically pay the entrance fee and then can load points onto an armband to get food samples from restaurants in Atlanta. I was feeling somewhat decent at that point (still not great) so at least I got to enjoy some food. I didn’t try everything that I wanted, but I had an amazing pumpkin soup there from a cafe just near our house, Egg Harbor Cafe. I will definitely be going there for that soup again. So good! Unfortunately, it rained on us the entire time we were there, but we didn’t let it ruin our moods! Also, as soon as we walked up to the entrance, my flip flop broke! What a bummer, but thankfully I had thrown boots in the Jeep just in case my feet got cold!

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We finally decided to go see Trainwreck since I’ve been wanting to see it for so long and we always think of it way too late at night to go! Since we waited so long, we had to drive kind of far to go see it, but it was worth it! I really enjoyed the movie!

We got home around 8pm and we were planning on going downtown to a barbecue place to watch bluegrass, but I bailed. I had Jon invite his friend, Andrew, to go so I could finish up my paper that’s due tomorrow and relax on the couch with Tom.

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He’s taking his cuddles very seriously.

I’m still feeling super sick, so I think tomorrow will be spent eating all fruit and veggies to get me back on track. My body isn’t  anywhere used to eating how I’ve been eating the last two days and I’m paying for it big time. Yuck. Have a good night and I’m sure I’ll check back in later!

Adjusting to Pregnancy

Happy Friday! And it really is a happy Friday because I have a 4 day weekend! I’m scheduling myself a lot more 3 and 4 day weekends these days, but it makes sense since I only get 1-2 weekends off per month. Might as well make them count.

I’m feeling pretty lazy regarding the gym today! I skipped the gym on Wednesday too and went on a 2 mile walk with Jon that evening. I figured it wouldn’t matter cause I had other days off this week to work out, but now I’m just feeling like a lazy blob. I probably would have gone at noon, but I ended up having to go to Whole Foods this morning (we seriously had no food no left home for breakfast or for any other meal, really) and ate a huge plate of their breakfast bar at 11am. So, a noon workout doesn’t look promising… Especially since that’s 24 minutes away.

Want to know one of the things I love about being pregnant? At least right now because I know this won’t last. I sleep like a rock. I mean, I wake up to pee every single morning without fail at 5 or 5:30am (sometimes more), but I fall asleep every night in about two minutes and I just sleep so good. I was falling asleep on the couch at 9:15 last night, so I got in bed by 10 and was out like a light. I slept till 9am today and probably could have stayed in bed even longer. The only downfall is that I still feel exhausted on work days if I go to bed at 11pm (I wake up at 5:15am). I think I may have to move my bedtime an hour or two earlier if I have to get up the next day! Growing a baby is apparently really tiring, which totally makes sense… I mean, it’s a whole human that your body has to produce.

I just deleted part of this post to make it shorter… I promise my next blog will not be about having babies (lies- I find out if it’s a boy or girl tomorrow, so the next post will have something about babies).

So, I don’t really know how to adjust to having a baby. I mean, I can take care of a kid. I probably will want to stab my eyes out in the middle of the night if my baby is crying and I’ll probably miss how simple life is without kids, but I know what to do if a baby is sick. I take care of sick babies at work. I know how to feed a baby and entertain them. I change so many adult diapers that baby diapers are easy peasy. I’m sure I’ll have plenty to learn, but I have enough of the basics covered that I feel confident in the skills of caring for a baby. I feel really unprepared to not have the life that I have now though. Sleep till 9? Gym at 10? Long lunch while I read blogs? Take three hours to clean the house? Sit down and do homework uninterrupted? Go hang out with friends? I can do all of those things! And life won’t be like that anymore. I love my life. I have a fantastic life. I also love traveling and being able to decide six weeks out that Jon and I are going to Europe for 17 days. I feel like a lot of women I talk to about having babies were the type of women who always wanted kids. They’re so excited about their baby getting here that they never talk about these things. And here I am, like, SLOW DOWN TIME! I’m not ready for this baby to come out because I’m not ready not to be selfish anymore!

It baffles me that this is what some women dream of. Having babies. I dream of traveling the world. I dream of working for nonprofit companies or getting involved in public health. I dream of brunch dates with friends when we’re 40. I dream of retirement when Jon and I can sell our house and go live all over the US. Babies? No. Never. I remember when I worked at Arby’s when I was 17 and somebody asked me if I wanted kids. I said no. They said, “Just wait. One day, you’ll wake up and you’ll realize how much you want kids.”

Well, I’m 29 and 17 weeks pregnant (tomorrow) and I still haven’t woken up with that feeling. And I also think that person was ignorant for thinking that all women are magically going to want to have kids. Not all women want kids. Hello. We have other awesome things in our lives to want. Am I excited about having this baby? Yes. I am. I never thought I would be amazed that I am growing a baby, but I am. I cried at our first ultrasound. I can’t wait to see our baby tomorrow on the ultrasound (GENDER REVEAL!!!!). I am always touching my belly. I love it when people at work want to see my tiny bump! I am excited. But I still don’t ever have that feeling of “OMG I AM SO EXCITED TO HAVE A BABY.” It’s more like, “Oh hey, I’m having a baby. This is cool for now. I hope it stays cool once this baby comes.”

I don’t know guys. Being pregnant is weird. Having babies is weird. I feel like everybody just talks about how excited they are while they’re pregnant and I’m just abnormal for not being that excited. Not that I mind. I don’t. I know I’ll be a good mom, but I don’t have expectations of how excited I should be about this baby or how quickly I’ll feel attached to it when it’s born. I’ve lived 29 years without a baby. I don’t need to adjust to having one in 40 weeks.

Okay, time to go clean our disgusting house, hopefully work on a paper, maybe nap, and then I have to get ready cause Jon and I are having a fancy date night tonight! (By the way, I think all those things will come after a trashy TV show and a nap. Rainy days make me tired.)

Life Updates & Baby Bumps

Happy Wednesday! Any day off work is a happy day for me! I thought I’d feel like I was working less hours, but I don’t lately. I’ve still been working a fair amount because of orientation at my new job, plus having to get in hours in the ER still. The new job is going well though. I’m feeling like I’m getting the hang of things, but I’ve only taken three patients so far and it’s hard to imagine taking 5 or 6. I believe I have another four orientation days, but one of those should be getting certified with the IV team and doing admissions. I’m actually nervous about having to get certified with the IV team because I really hate being watched when I’m in that “orientation” role, if that makes sense. I’ve had plenty of nurses watch me start IVs, but when I know they’re judging how I do it, I just feel shy! And I haven’t worked with adults in the ER in awhile, so my IV starts have been much fewer than usual so I’m worried I’ll miss a bunch of easy IVs. (Probably all ridiculous thoughts since I’ve been starting IVs regularly for 5 years now.) So, the job is going well. I should probably check my mail and see if I have my first paycheck yet since it’s not direct deposited till the second check!

The pregnancy is going well. My food aversions are still gone, thankfully, but I do tend to get cravings for stuff easily, especially if I smell something or see somebody else eating something. Then that’s all I think about. I had an EKG class last week and saw a guy eating a sandwich that looked like a tuna melt, and I literally craved tuna with cheese melted on it for the next hour. I couldn’t even focus on the class because I was so focused on getting tuna for lunch. Then I ate it and spent the next hour wondering if it was albacore or white fish tuna and how much mercury I just consumed. I also have a serious case of pregnancy brain. I always thought this started later in pregnancy, but I assure you that it’s in full swing. Last night I found yogurt in my fridge and couldn’t find the lid anywhere. I get up at work and walk somewhere and then have absolutely no idea what I was doing. I open a tab at work and can’t remember what I wanted to chart. I have conversations and then can’t remember anything the person said, even when I need to know (like at work). It’s crazy. All these things used to happen before I was pregnant too (not the yogurt), but it’s just one after another. All day long I feel like I’m wandering around lost. I also spend a ridiculous amount of time convincing people that I’m not showing and that I’m just bloated. I was supposed to have genetic testing done Friday, but somebody from the office called today and said I’d owe $900 out of pocket. No thanks! I don’t really care about genetic testing anyway! Neither of our families have any history of genetic abnormalities so no way am I paying that, especially when it won’t even apply to the deductible for the delivery (since I deliver next year).

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Good example here! Left photo is at 9wks2days, first thing in the morning. The second photo was first thing in the morning, but on Monday (11wks2days) right after being insanely bloated all weekend from the food at Kassie’s wedding. The third photo was also first thing in the morning, but on Tuesday after eating much better all day Monday. No baby yet. That’s all bloat in the second picture, and the other ones are how I usually look!

I’ve still been working out! I get out of breath way more easily and I also get completely exhausted way more easily, but it has been good to stay active. I was actually super excited to try the CrossFit gym close by and the WOD today looked great, but when I just went to sign up, it didn’t show up. They may close their registration early, but all the other noon classes are available every other day. Doesn’t make sense. So I’m going to one of my favorites tonight, Elite Edge, for my first arm night there.

Laura and I are leaving this Saturday morning for a trip to Wyoming. We’re driving out, so we’re spending a night in Kansas City so we can see the Power and Light District, and then heading out to do an afternoon at Medicine Bow (WY) and we’ll be staying just outside Grand Tetons. We’ll go into Yellowstone as well, so this afternoon I need to spend a little time figuring out how to get the most out of the parks in just a few short days! I can’t wait for the trip and really wish we could go for longer, but it’s going to be so fun! After this, I’ll be saving money again for spring tuition, baby items, and delivery bills. So I better make the most of this trip! I am loving that I’m going with Laura though, so all bills are split between us. For any of you single folk, enjoy your vacations with friends! It is much harder to see the cost of a two person trip to come out of one bank account!

Well, that’s about all! I’ll be spending my day cleaning the house (one last deep clean before school starts- the floors don’t get cleaned nearly as much when I’m in school!) and finishing up my online orientation for grad school! I need to make sure I have all my books ready since school starts Monday (while I’m on vacation, bummer)! I also need to run to the grocery store for a few small things (I want to eat all the gala apples!!!!!!). Perhaps I’ll buy a new crockpot too, since mine leaks dirty food water all over the place (how is that even possible?!) so I finally threw it out after it leaked all over onto my floor last time… So, nothing exciting in my future. Just a much needed productive day so that I can spend Friday packing, getting food prepared for our trip, and having dinner with Crista before Jon gets home!

Everybody enjoy your day!

Bachelorette Party Shopping, New Jobs, and Protein!

Another day, another dolla. I’m kidding. I didn’t even work today. I rarely blog on days I work. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

I did my first Body Attack class last night through ClassPass! It was just weird, you guys. It was basically like a cardio class where you just run in place and jump up and down and wave your arms and punch the air and dance your little feet in square shapes. Not at all what I was expecting. Actually, I thought I signed up for Body Pump, so really not what I was expecting. But it was good. I actually got my heart rate up and got my sweat on, and it was nice to have a break from weights because my body is so tired. So I may do it again. I’m not really sure.

After another sleepless night last night, I got up and headed up to the new hospital for my employee health appointment and medication test. (By the way, I totally just realized I forgot to have my Hep B titers drawn today, which I hope doesn’t mess up my start date! How did I even do that?!) The medication test was actually pretty hard but we got to use a book, thankfully! I am a bit worried because ALL of my new employee paperwork has me listed as working PCU (progressive care unit, a step down from the intensive care unit) and I was very clear during my interview that I wanted telemetry to be my main area and that I could float to PCU as needed since I have ER experience and am familiar with everything they’ll do in PCU, aside from pulling sheaths after coronary intervention. So, I’m a bit miffed because I think I may have been mislead, but I’ll speak with the manager at orientation next week and get it straightened out. Jon told me I should email them now, but either way, I need a break from my current job so bad that I’d really work either… But still, I’ll be reviewing this with them.

After I finished up there, I headed to Whole Foods to grab some stuff for work. Still totally not feeling hardly any food, so I’ve been kind of winging it at the grocery store and hoping I’ll be able to tolerate one of the few items I buy. I also stocked up on some Orgain Protein Almond Milk in hopes of adding it to my fruit smoothies since I’m not eating any meat these days at all.

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Gina met me at my house once I got home so that we could do some Bachelorette Party shopping for Kassie’s big weekend! I actually had been planning on going to her house, so when we switched it last minute, it gave me a reason to do a quick clean on my house and now it’s finally cleaned up! I can’t be having people see my house messy.

Gina and I went to Party City for some basic pink Bachelorette goods, but they sadly don’t have any penis decor! I guess I should have expected that since they can’t really throw penises out where little kids are. We also needed to find some lingerie for her lingerie shower (which we’re doing at the Bachelorette Party), so we stopped by TJ Maxx for some sexy underthings! Then we headed to a sex shop thinking they’d have some penis stuff, but they didn’t aside from a penis cake pan (for $19!). Who knew?! And their non-penis shaped stuff was really expensive! So we decided to go in search of a Spencer’s, not even knowing if that store still exists or not. But it does! And they have plenty of penis stuff!

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Kassie said no to that penis nose! WHY?! Haha. I would have totally rocked that! Their penis cake pans were only $8 too! I’m going to frost two penis cakes- one peach and one chocolate. I’m super excited!

After our shopping adventures, Gina left and I read up on some cloth diapering discussion boards (I really think Jon and I are going to go the cloth diaper route because I am way too environmentally conscious to just be throwing away tons of diapers, and cloth diapering is cheaper in the long run). I learned a lot but the whole cloth diapering thing is a bit overwhelming! I think I’m going to register for various types of diapers on my baby registry in hopes of getting different stuff.

I’m thinking I may head out for a quick elliptical session at the gym and maybe some arms. Why not? I’m feeling cabin feverish and hopefully all the post-work gym goers are heading out since it’s 7pm. Maybe I’ll take a walk outside after that too for some nice, fresh humid air! I’m not sure how I’m still so energized today, but I’m loving it! I wish this nausea would go away, but whatever! At least my body hasn’t been drained all day!

Lots of Cooking and Food Aversions!

It’s FRIDAY! Which really means nothing for me since I work all day tomorrow and Sunday. I’m looking forward to Monday! In sad news, first and foremost, I found out that Jon and I will be going quite some time without seeing each other next month. I’ll be out of town for Kassie’s Bachelorette party, and then when we get back, Jon will be headed to Minnesota for a few weeks. The night he’ll fly home is the night that Laura and I will leave for our 1 1/2 week road trip! I know we went months without seeing each other while I was doing travel nursing, but I hate being at home without him. I never sleep well because I’m always paranoid somebody is going to break in. So, I may be spending some nights at my mom and dad’s to at least get some good nights of sleep, but because of the cats, the majority of the time will still be spent at home! I can’t wait till his training is done so we can spend some more time together! And, starting now, we don’t have any more days off together until mid-September! I’ll just be grateful that we’re together more often than not though, because plenty of people go much longer without their spouse (and we have too!).

Laura and I met up Wednesday night for some errand running (this is how friends hang out at almost 30). Laura had to get a baby gift from Babies R’ Us and we had the longest experience of our life there. Also, there is so much stuff at that store! I refuse to buy my kids that much stuff. I feel like kids should learn to be creative with their toys- not just get ten thousand new gadgets to play with all the time. And the amount of other random stuff they had was just ridiculous. I’m going to try and be a more minimalist parent. Anyway, then we went to Old Navy to return some stuff. I hadn’t been there in forever, but I found two necklaces. One I wasn’t sure of but Laura liked it, so I bought it since it was so cheap. There were no mirrors under about 5’7″ at the store, so Laura snapped this picture… I feel like the dangles at the bottom are a little much for my style.

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I worked all day yesterday with the kids again, thankfully. The days with the kids are just so much easier than working with adults. I have a feeling I’ll spend my weekend with the adults since that’s typically how it goes, but at least my time in the ER is going to be coming to a bit of a close since my hours will drop down so much shortly. I’m more than ready!

Last night, I decided to make Jon a peanut butter pie and breakfast casserole for his last day at the hospital! I was exhausted and not in the best mood. I crashed around 10:30 and slept great until 4am!

I was up once 4am hit, but I laid in bed till 6:15. I got up to finish the breakfast casserole for Jon’s work.

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I ended up watching some shows this morning before Jon even left for work and then napped for a little under an hour. I was really wanting to go to a ClassPass class this morning, but I was kind of waiting to see how I felt. I felt like I never digested my dinner from last night and was nauseated, but I signed up for MissFits (the less hardcore CrossFit class for all ladies) since I love that class. I snacked on some Ritz crackers with peanut butter and then headed out the door!

I definitely was feeling rough at the gym, but typically I make it through working out okay. As long as I don’t stop to rest too much, I don’t really feel the nausea. It’s when I stop and rest that it catches up with me. It wasn’t too hard of a workout today thankfully, but I still worked up a sweat and it felt good to do something active since so much time has been spent on my couch lately.

I came home and ate some oatmeal and grapes that did not really hit the spot at all, but I don’t think anything would have. Then I headed to the pool for about 20 minutes before coming back home to shower and take the peanut butter pie to Jon’s work. I was congratulated by and said goodbye to all of his coworkers (I go have lunch with him at work occasionally, so they all know me). Thankfully, they enjoyed my breakfast casserole (I had never made it) and my peanut butter pie! My pie crust was really crumbly which didn’t happen last time, but oh well. Still delicious!

I headed to Whole Foods for a few things and came home to throw together rice, broccoli, and cheese for work.

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These food aversions are crazy. I always imagined it just being that certain foods would make you sick. Like, suddenly chicken would make me want to vomit but everything else would pretty much be okay. Nope. That is not it at all. Instead, everything makes me want to vomit except for maybe one or two random things that I can decide about an hour in advance. Know what I had for lunch at work yesterday?

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And I seriously suffered through the strawberries I brought. I brought chicken salad and carrots too, but I couldn’t even bring myself to look at them. Or I’ll decide that I can eat ice cream and the thought of anything else makes me sick. Or I just don’t want anything and think maybe I’ll be able to tolerate Ritz with peanut butter (like this morning). But it’s not ever the same thing. So I bought mac and cheese because the other day, I could stomach mac and cheese. But now? That sounds horrible. I bought that chicken salad the other day because I thought that sounded good. I ate it once and now, I can’t bring myself to eat the rest. It’s really expensive to waste so much food. Instead, I guess I can handle that disgusting fake cheese that I would seriously never ever eat if somebody paid me to normally and the disgusting french fries from work. The saddest part? I can’t drink coffee. The thought of drinking a cup of coffee makes my stomach churn and I love coffee!

Anyway, so in hopes of being able to eat my lunch this weekend, I figured something plain would work. There is hardly any flavor to my rice and broccoli at all, which is exactly what I need to be able to tolerate food. I thought about leaving the broccoli out for fear of not being able to eat that either, but I just steamed it with no seasoning and chopped it in the food processor. I feel like I still need to get some nutrition in but it’s so hard! Sorry this is all about food, but that’s really all my life is about lately. Food, nausea, and feeling so tired that my arms feel like 10,000lbs while I brush my teeth. Seriously.

I’m going to go lay on the couch now. I’m going to dinner with Crista, Billy, and Jon tonight. I doubt I’ll eat. And then tomorrow is back to work! So, couch siting and TV watching for a few hours before I have to pry myself up again!

Sushi & Baby Talk

Holy Moly, Monday! You couldn’t have come fast enough!

Thursday, there was no gym. I went to the pool instead. My body was so tired and I had no energy, nor any desire, to lift any weight or move my body any faster than I had to. While I’m struggling a bit with this “being too tired to work out” or “wanting to keep going to the gym so I don’t get out of the habit of working out,” I guess I just have to listen to my body.

I spent Thursday evening at my mom and dad’s. It was definitely fun having Annie and Tank in town for almost 3 weeks, but it’s nice not spending all of my days off over there too! I really wish they lived closer than Wisconsin, but I guess I’ll just be glad Jon’s family is only half as far away (in Jacksonville, FL).

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Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were 12 hour work days (and I got out at 7:30 all three days). I didn’t sleep well on Thursday or Friday night, but then managed to get a good night of sleep on Saturday night. Thankfully, none of the days at work were terrible because I don’t think I even have the mental capacity right now to handle a rough day. I feel like my mind is mush and my critical thinking is going downhill. I got my feet wet yesterday when I helped my neighbor with her critical patient for about 20 minutes, but that was more than enough and I was thankful that it wasn’t my patient!

Jon and I decided to go to sushi last night. Actually, I decided. I have tons of cravings lately, but most of them are fleeting. Like, I decided while I was on my way to Whole Foods the other day that I needed carrots! So I bought a huge thing of carrots. By the time I got home, I really didn’t want carrots at all. And still don’t. But now I have three containers full of chopped carrots. My most frequent cravings are bagels and Panera. I have only had one bagel so far (from Panera, actually), but I think it’s safe to say that I’ve increased my carb intake exponentially. I’m just going to buy bagels for myself at the store, which I haven’t done in years (we’re a no bread house). But, with not feeling all that great most of the time, I don’t want to eat  chicken (at all, even though I made 2lbs of chicken and couldn’t bring myself to eat one bite) or tons of veggies. I am trying to keep myself eating a fairly well rounded diet still though. I’ve been fairly successful, even if my lunch at work for three days consisted of a white potato, strawberries, and carrots only.

Okay, that paragraph ended up being all about food. So, Jon and I went to eat sushi last night. It was so good and it was nice to have a little date night with him. I’m pretty bummed because our schedules won’t line up for us to have a weekend off together until the second or third weekend in September, and now that he’ll be working full time again, I don’t have weekdays off with him either. I guess we’ll have to fit in these date nights as much as possible!

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I got in bed shortly after we got home and slept so good! Aside from the loudest thunderstorm I’ve ever heard in my life at 12:30, followed by Kitty throwing up such a big hairball that she then threw up her dinner and three piles of blood, I really had a great night of sleep! I slept so good, in fact, that I stayed in bed till almost noon. I was awake for a lot of it, but just had zero desire to get up. I had really hoped that exhaustion in early pregnancy wouldn’t hit me, but it has! I’m sure working 38 hours in the last 3 days didn’t help, but I have been more tired lately than I have been in as long as I can remember. I’m trying to rest when I can since I’ve had so many sleepless nights and besides, I won’t be able to lay in bed till noon again once this baby comes, so I will lay in bed till noon if I feel like it. I need to enjoy these childless days as much as I can! I hope these next 33 weeks are the slowest 33 weeks of my life!

Another girl at work is pregnant with me. She has a two year old and she’s 9 weeks pregnant now. We were chatting yesterday and she was basically super realistic and saying how really, until your baby is a year old, there’s nothing fun about it. She wasn’t one who enjoyed being pregnant (I think it’s totally weird to have a baby growing in me and I don’t have that “life is so beautiful” feeling at all) and didn’t enjoy the newborn phase at all. She said it wasn’t really till her son was a year that it really made sense to have a kid. I feel like I’ll be the same way and it’s refreshing that moms are open about feeling that way, so that the other people who feel that way don’t feel like awful mothers for going through that natural progression. It wasn’t until the last few years that I realized people don’t actually like the newborn phase and that some moms feel no connections with their babies for a few months. I’m really excited to have older kids, but none of the next year or two seems like any fun to me. Babies are cute, but I don’t particularly enjoy them. At least not 24/7. And you know what? That’s okay. I don’t have to love every stage of having a baby. And it’s okay if it takes a few months or more to even really like my baby. I don’t really see how women are supposed to like the thing that makes them hormonal and fat for 9 months, rips open their vagina, and then takes their normal life from them and exchanges it for sleepless nights and stressful days and worries of daycare and who will watch this child and WHAT DO YOU EVEN DO WITH THIS BABY?!

Guys, this is not beautiful. It’s not even fun. And it’s not cute. Just like my boobs won’t be cute after they start sagging from the extra 10lbs each boob has gained.

Alright, I promise not all blog posts will be about babies. I don’t want to be that person. I’m going to go try to have a productive day running way too many errands, which I hope will include the gym somewhere at some time. Probably via ClassPass, which I need to go ahead and activate since this should be a better week than last.