When You Have a Fat Kid…

My doctor and I had a conversation this weekend with a mother. She had a 10 year old daughter who was a large 10 year old. She was probably around 5’4″ and was about 170lbs. When Mom was asked if her daughter’s illness had caused any weight gain or weight loss, she said, “No. I wish it would cause weight loss since I know she needs to lose weight, but she hasn’t.”

First of all, totally inappropriate to say in front of your daughter. I find it really discouraging when parents approach their children’s weight that way. I could just imagine the shame that poor girl was feeling as all these adults are in the room making a spectacle of her weight.

Then, the doctor tells Mom, “Make sure she’s active and that you’re feeding her healthy foods. She’s only 10 and you’re the mother. You get to decide what she eats.”

Mom goes on about how when she tries to pack her daughter a healthy lunch, she complains too much because her three brothers and sisters get a different lunch, but Mom says those kids don’t have a problem with their weight. The doctor tells her that it’s not about an all or nothing mindset and that she should be able to eat what she wants at times, but overall, she needs to be giving her fruits and vegetables and limiting junk food.

Mom continues on about how she has to buy junk food for her other kids so her daughter wants it too and it’s too hard to limit it. She says, “If I give her the choice of a pizza or vegetables, obviously she’s going to choose the pizza.”

To which I say, “You don’t give her a choice. There is no pizza. You give her vegetables.”

This is what amazes me. This mother can’t make healthy decisions for her children. As a parent, you make the decisions. And not only that, but you make the decisions for all of your kids. Why would three kids get pizza and one get veggies? All the kids can have veggies and healthy lunches. You should raise your kids eating healthy, but aside from that, you should really raise them all equally. You should not make one kid feel different than the rest because they are heavier than their siblings. It’s not some shame game. It’s your fault as their parents that your kid is fat. (I understand once kids can drive, they make a lot more of their own decisions. I also understand that some kids do actually have health problems, but you’d be amazed what a healthy diet does for health problems in children, too.)

It really disgusts me that parents think they can’t take junk food out of their house or their kids will complain about it. So what? So what if your kids complain and whine? You’re the parent! You get to set the boundaries! They won’t complain forever. Eventually, they’ll learn to eat what they have in front of them (and they may never love broccoli or carrots, but they’ll find something better than Pop-tarts and Lucky Charms). The decisions parents make with their young kids last a lifetime. Not only that, but obese children are at risk for so many diseases! Why would you knowingly subject your children to that over food? Food is meant to fuel your body. It’s supposed to be nutritious. It shouldn’t cause you harm.

Jon and I have already talked about not buying junk food when we have kids (you know, in like, 5 months). It just won’t be in our house (it’s not in our house now and never is, so why would that change?). Kids won’t crave candy as a two year old unless their parents introduce them to it. I see so many kids actin’ a fool over chocolate. It’s ridiculous. Why is a kid who can’t even speak in full sentences having a meltdown over something that they never had to have in the first place? It might be tough to stick to our guns since it’s so common and accepted to let children eat horrible food, but I’m not all about that. And you know what? We’re the parents. We get to make those decisions and our children will listen, maybe with some screaming and fighting, but they’ll listen.

Instagram and slutty selfies. This is what the world is coming to.

There’s a girl on my instagram who posts a million selfies. I don’t get it. I’m not opposed to selfies at all. I understand that sometimes, you feel like you look really good and want a picture of it. I wear scrubs 75% of the time and running clothes another 15% of the time, so if I get dressed, it’s a big deal. If you have a new haircut, I get it. But every day? A selfie in bed? Then a selfie of you and your coffee? Then a selfie of your legs at the gym? Then a selfie of you doing pushups? Then one of your legs in the mirror after? Then a sweaty face selfie? Then you in a dress, you little fashionista you! ALL IN ONE DAY!

I was laying in bed the other night, slightly disgusted at how people are so self involved, when I was reading the hashtags on the photos and wondering if anybody actually tags those things. So I clicked on one and started browsing through them.

So, this is what is wrong with our society. I clicked on one of the images for that hashtag and at the top of the girl’s instagram, the little bio said the girl was 13. And what was on her instagram? 700 photos of HERSELF (okay, maybe 600 of herself and 100 sporadic other things). Wearing tons of makeup, big hair, and tiny shorts and those midriff shirts (I sound so grandma saying that). The girl was gorgeous for being 13. And all of her little captions were, “I want a boyfriend but nobody likes me,” “I want a boyfriend but I’m not cute enough,” “I’m so lonely. I want a boyfriend.” And of course, the other little boys are all commenting on how sexy she is and how she has a great body. AT 13! And I click on one of her friends, who looked much older than 15 but also was just naturally gorgeous. Her clothes weren’t revealing and she seemed like a genuinely nice 15 year old via instagram, but still, it was just one picture after another of her face!

I like my facebook. I like my instagram. Like I said, I’m not against selfies. They can be cute. But this is just extreme. Nobody needs to post that many pictures of themselves in one day! It reminded me of when Jon and I went to a Braves game and the girl in front of us took selfies for an hour. Not even kidding. An entire hour. Not only do you look completely and utterly ridiculous to everybody around you, but you went to a Braves game and didn’t even watch it because you were so caught up in getting the best selfie that you missed an entire hour of it!

There is a difference in wanting to look good and taking time to improve your appearance and just being so self absorbed that the rest of your life loses value. It’s saddening to see all these young girls so obsessed with their looks and wasting all this time fishing for compliments. I think it’s also really sad to see the things these girls are wearing and posting and the fact that their parents don’t stop it! No 13 year old should be revealing her stomach out in public (nobody should anyway, period). They shouldn’t be taking pictures to accentuate their barely there boobs and trying to be sexy. When I was 13, my mom knew what I wore out of the house at all times. She almost didn’t let me buy a string bikini when I was 14 but I begged her. (I wore it at our neighborhood pool. I didn’t even have friends that went there.) It just appalls me that parents aren’t taking any time to actually teach their daughters anything and let them objectify themselves at such a young age! And it’s sad to think that this is just what’s public on the internet, and that they still send naked snapchat pictures of themselves to people too.

So, everybody, stop taking selfies and try and do something to truly enjoy your time. And if taking a million pictures of yourself is really what makes you happy, then perhaps you should explore where your happiness is actually coming from. And if you have kids, stop letting them wear sluttly clothes out of the house so little boys can make them into an object.