New CrossFit gym & New job!

No new travel post yet! I’ve barely made it to going through any more pictures from the trip! But I’m relaxing in the kitchen right now, eating breakfast after my first CrossFit class at a new gym. I keep hoping to sleep in a little bit, but it gets light here at 4:45! Diane gets in the shower at 4:15 and the light is already peeking out! I think tomorrow I’ll actually close my blinds. But I decided to take advantage of being awake and go to an earlier CrossFit class in hopes of getting a nap in before going to work at 3 today. Like I said, the people were very friendly. Everybody was asking why I’m living here for 3 months and making conversation. Pretty quick workout (5×1 deadliest and then 1×5, 3 rounds of 25 sit ups and 5 cleans). It’s the most I’ve ever paid for a gym but they didn’t seem very willing to negotiate, so I’m just going to suck it up and pay it. No other gyms near here to go to anyway.

I had my first day of orientation yesterday. Jessica and I (the girl who I will most likely be doing all my travel assignments with) just sat through some power points and really boring documentation classes. We both work today. I’m doing 3-11 shifts on this assignment and my schedule is really not very great, but I’m just going to suck it up. Maybe I’ll even end up liking it! I’m a little nervous to start working here since policies vary so much in hospitals and certain hospitals use certain drugs for things (some hospitals use ketamine for conscious sedation- we never use ketamine and typically use versed and fentanyl, for example) and doctors are always different. This charting system is completely different than what I’m used to as well! So, it’ll be quite an adjustment, I’m sure, but it’s 13 weeks and that’s nothing! It takes more than 13 weeks to really get good at a charting system and get the flow of a department, so I’ll be leaving just in time!

Being away from Jon is different! I cried quite a bit when he left on Sunday and was super bummed and it made me so entirely grateful that he got out of the Army and we’ll never have to do an entire year away from each other! But now I’m feeling fine. Still miss him, of course, but it’s so beautiful out here and I feel secure in our marriage, so aside from texting occasionally throughout the day and a quick phone call, we’ve not been in much contact. I do miss my furry babies though since we can’t text! 

Anyway, off to shower and clean up the kitchen! I really really want to get a nap in and I have some policies still to skim over before heading into work today (I have to be there at 1:45 for some more orientation stuff).

Last Day in Georgia!

Tomorrow is leaving day! Woohoo! I’m finally all packed except for a few things! I am a bit bummed (maybe that’s an understatement) because Jon rerouted our trip to get to Beacon, NY on Thursday evening which takes us through the mountains instead of up 95. I was really excited about driving up 95 because it’s closer to the coast and goes through DC and New York. I was really hoping to stop and do some sightseeing and I’m just going to admit it- I am totally being a brat and wanted this trip to explore- not to rush up to spend time with his friend (this is one of his few friends that I’m not also friends with). I mean, the point of me traveling is to see the US. Not to rush to hang out with people I don’t care to see. See, I told you all that I’m being a brat. Cause I am. But I’m not coming home for who knows how long, so I’m just going to say that I’m allowed. And then later, I’ll decide that I need to work on not being such a bratty wife. (It may take my whole life to accomplish this goal. I’m the youngest child. I was born this way.)

I am beyond excited to get settled at a new CrossFit gym! I’m looking at one in Plymouth and it has 10:30 classes! This is my dream! 10:30 classes! I have been wanting 10-10:30 classes at CrossFit for the entire last 5 years and none of the gyms I’ve ever gone to offer them! Since I’ll be working 3p-11p, I actually think 10:30 is perfect, as long as I can drag my tired/lazy ass out of bed in the mornings after probably not falling asleep till 1am-ish. I’ve been looking at a bit of the programming on there and while I don’t know yet that it’s really top notch programming and I definitely have no idea of how capable the coaches actually are, the WODs actually look pretty fun. A lot of partner WODs which I actually really like now that I don’t care at all about being competitive.

Today was my “last day” at work (I use quotation marks because I’ll be back eventually). One of my favorite murses (male nurses) brought my Sara Donuts this morning and I was ecstatic! Little did he know, but that is my favorite donut place! And then he traded my assignments so I got to go to my favorite assignment, greeter. It’s the little things. I don’t think it has set in yet that I won’t be returning for quite some time, but I’m sure I’ll miss it. It felt weird to be brining my bag home with me- I never take my stethoscope out of the hospital! I am incredibly grateful for my awesome coworkers though. I’ve learned so much from them in the last 4 years and feel right at home with them. I definitely got lucky with my first job out of nursing school and I actually am excited for my next few shifts, whenever that may be (probably August).

Alrighty, well I’m off. I really want to watch Orange is the New Black, but Jon is watching baseball and since I’ve been pretty demanding all night (because he has been trying to watch the Braves all night long when we have tons of packing/cleaning to do) so I figured I’d wait to ask him for something else.

I think I’ll just go hang out with my cats. I’m going to be so sad to go so long without seeing their cute little faces. I seriously get so excited to see them after just coming home from a weekend in Jacksonville, so I can’t imagine 2 months without these little fur balls.

 

Travel nursing is coming up!

Monday, Monday! I had a crazy day at work today but something about only having 6 shifts left kind of keeps me grounded. I never even got stressed out. I got annoyed a bit, but not overwhelmed or anything. I had a patient for 4 hours and saw her one time and did I stress? Nope. Not in the last.

I did find out that my ER apparently upped their lowest PRN requirements, so every month I should work 8 weekend hours, 8 on call hours and 8 other hours. Clearly this won’t work. I can’t come home and work two weekends at a time and I also can’t fly home all the time. I talked to the girl who does our scheduling and she basically said if I miss two months in a row, the hospital will terminate me. I then went and spoke with my boss (not about this in depth- but just to let her know my status was dropping down and she’d see me less- she has known for awhile that I was looking to start traveling around this time) and she basically said that they should be able to work with me. I plan on coming home every 3 months or so and working a larger chunk of time- up to 30 days between most assignments. Right now, I’m in a bit of a hurry to get some assignments done so Jon and I can enjoy some of his Christmas break together and with working 8 hour shifts for my first assignment (which my boss knows), I have no idea how I’ll make it home to work that many hours each month. We’ll see what happens though.

My mom and I were talking about it on my way home and she was talking about how I might lose money (definitely on this first assignment), but I think she’s missing that I’ve wanted to do travel nursing since I was in nursing school three years ago! I put it off until I had a bachelor’s and quite frankly, when I stop traveling for good, I’m going to have to go back to work full time so that I can get enough benefits to accrue PTO for maternity leave. So this is it. This is my time. And I may lose some money or I may break even on some assignments which I was not expecting at all, but I’m reminding myself that it’s not all about money and that traveling the US is my dream. My house is still going to be paid for, Jon’s tuition will be paid, and it’ll all work out. And I do still have money in the bank if need be (although not as much as I like in the bank- but enough to be set if I was to be unemployed).

Jessica (my travel buddy who will be living in MA with me) sent me pictures of the house we’ll be living in today. Just the outside- she creeped on the house while the owners are out of town- but it looks awesome. There’s an awesome pond in the backyard and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for us! I also can’t wait to be in this whole travel thing with another person. We’re getting so close!

Alrighty, I’m going to go cut my nails, eat something, and then head to bed. Another shift tomorrow and tomorrow night, I have to study for ENPC (Emergency Nursing Pediatric Course) that I’m taking on Wednesday and Thursday! Have a good night!

My first travel nursing assignment!

Instead of catching you all up on my weekly happenings (I spent a night at my parent’s cabin with Jon, sister, and brother-in-law, and I’ve spent a lot of time cleaning), I’ll tell you all about my future life plans.

As I was driving to my parent’s house from the wedding rehearsal, I got a call from a manager of a hospital in Plymouth, MA. I had about a 30 minute interview and it went surprisingly well since I was 100% focused on wedding stuff and hadn’t prepared any questions to ask interviewers! The manager told me I asked a lot of questions that nobody else has asked before! The hospital is a 24 bed ER with a main campus in Boston. I work in a 72 bed ER now and it’s a busy level 2 trauma center, and we have interventional cardiology. This will definitely be interesting to be at such a small ER compared to where I am, plus the patients will probably be pretty different from what I’m used to. I’m excited and nervous about the change!

Anyway, so clearly I got the job. My recruiter called me on Tuesday and gave me the offer. The pay is way less than I was hoping for and insurance is way more than I was expecting (thanks “Affordable Care Act”). Since I still have a mortgage at home, I may end up losing some money with this contract. But it’s the first one and honestly, I’m kind of glad to be away from Boston. I’m not a huge city person. It’s not too far from Cape Cod which is really awesome too!

My start date is June 23, so Jon and I will be leaving on June 12 for a road trip to Maine. We plan on stopping in Boston for a night or two and then heading to Bar Harbor and Acadia National Park. Moosehead Lake looks pretty up there and then I’ve been told to stop at a few places in New Hampshire. I’m pretty excited but also can’t believe that I’ll be away from Jon permanently! Because of how late this assignment is starting, it’ll be a rush to get an assignment right after (we’re looking at Arizona or Oregon next) so I don’t have any idea when I’ll see Jon next. I also am set in my ways- what I eat, what I do, who I see- so it’ll be a challenge for me. I hope I love it. My travel nurse friend, Jessica, will also be going with me!

I think I found a house for both of us. A middle aged woman is renting out a room in her house since her two kids just moved out. A 23 year old girl daughter still lives there, but it turns out that when I said I had a friend, the woman actually has two available rooms. It may be a bit more expensive than I’d hoped as well, but everything is included. So I’m staying optimistic that it will all work out! Jessica is open to the house that I found and so far, we don’t have many other options!

Anyway, I’m off. I’m in the middle of working on dinner/ lunch for work tomorrow! Tomorrow if my first day back to work in 2 full weeks! It was a much needed break! Only 7 full shifts to go, plus ENPC next week as well! It’s going to be busy until I leave! Ah!

I did make Jon this since he’s letting his brand new wife go for so long:

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Peanut butter pie- full of love! When I start working out again when I get to Massachusetts, I’ll be working all this crap out of my arteries!

Happy 28th Birthday to ME!

I wasn’t going to post a blog today because I’m cramming for my final (in beautiful weather- how depressing) but I’m drinking my coffee right now and I have a general rule that I can’t do any homework while I enjoy my coffee. Also, if you have a Keurig, try the brown sugar cake K-cups from Target.

Just a quick update on the highlight decision- I walked into Toni & Guy and said to the girl, “I have an appointment at 4pm with Malcolm” and then she said, “Nooo… It’s with Ashari,” who is my hair colorist! Cue freakout. My response was actually, “Oh shit, but I don’t know what I want to do with my hair color yet!” Haha. Anyway, I went with highlights. They’re fairly obvious in person, but the camera wasn’t capturing it well. I also had to switch my part because I have a weird darker stripe in the front of my head if I part my hair on the normal side. I may have them fix it, but then again, I haven’t switched my part in awhile and need to anyway. I don’t love the highlights but everybody at work said they looked good.

Thursday night, I got home and Jon let me open my birthday present!

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A starter camera kit! That’s a Canon Rebel EOS T3i (I have no idea what all that means). I LOVE it! Granted, I have not a freaking clue how to use it, but luckily my brother and Jon’s sister both use DSLRs so they can teach me a thing or two. I was shocked and had no idea what Jon was getting me! I have been mentioning how much I want a nice camera since I travel so much. I’m always so bummed when I looked back at my Switzerland pictures because it was such an awesome place and my camera was such a POS. (I do have a better point and shoot now- I went to Switzerland when I was 21.) With travel nursing coming up, I wanted something to really capture all that I’m about to see! I also wouldn’t have invested in a camera for myself since I still have to buy a laptop, so Jon really did awesome with this gift!

I worked yesterday and had a fairly good 8 hour day. I asked to go to my favorite assignment for the last 4 cause it was my birthday and the supervisor let me. Always nice.

Then I went to Treehouse Pub with Gina, Brian, Kassie, Billy, Laura, and Jon for my birthday dinner. I was so glad Jon was able to make it! The food was pretty good and the atmosphere was decent! They had nice porch seating there which I love. I had a great time with my friends and was glad to get to spend some time with them on a Thursday night. It was actually a lot of fun and I’d like to do it more often.  We rarely get all the guys together too since I typically like to just enjoy the girls when I have a chance!

Here are some pictures with my new camera! They’re all on the automatic setting since I have no clue how to use it yet!

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I included this mostly to try and get my hair. Jon was just messing around with the camera.

 

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Again, attempting to get the hair. Not really working. Or maybe that is really what it looks like to other people and I just can’t tell in a mirror.

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My handsome man! Love him!

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Kassie, Gina, me, and Laura! I’ve been friends with them since I was 14!

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Laura took this one! I love it! And we did not mean to match! I didn’t even notice till we were in the car! Also, he looks so big in that picture! Sometimes I feel like it’s not so obvious that he’s 14 inches taller than me and 110lbs more than me, but it is here!

Anyway, so that sums up our night! Also, on my 28th birthday, I got my Massachusetts nursing license (WOOHOO!!) and found out the girl I am going to travel nurse with is coming to my wedding. Today I take my last final for my BSN and then I walk down the aisle to that studly man above in 22 days (holy moly- I have a LOT OF PLANNING TO DO!). I also have a GRE study book now so may be hopping on the grad school train in the fall if I get everything done in time and get accepted!

Okay, I really stretched out this cup of coffee, but it’s done. Time to go memorize B cells, T cells, and helper T cells…

Best foods, travel nursing, Braves, and no workouts.

Since I missed my exercise recap last week, let me get that out of the way:

SMTWTFS: Nothing

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Whew! Glad we got that out of the way. I did go on a few walks with Jon and enjoyed all of them (as shown above with his fancy new iPhone 5s- taking clearer selfies than the iPhone 5c POS). I didn’t step foot in the gym once or in my running shoes and I just don’t care one bit. But I am pretty excited to get back to it tomorrow. I have a dentist appointment at 10 but am really hoping to make it to CrossFit at 12, either at my old gym or at the one I go to now. I do miss being a regular at CrossFit, but there just isn’t a way for that to happen right now!

I created this masterpiece in the kitchen:

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That little bowl may not look like a beauty, but I sauteed some organic hashbrowns, threw in some chopped up Applegate Farms chicken & maple sausage, an egg, and some cheddar cheese, and that was like, the best breakfast ever. The only thing that would have made it better was topping it with syrup, but let’s be real, I eat enough syrup already.

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My favorite foodstuffs numero dos is my kale salad with kale (duh), strawberries, garlic powder, lemon infused olive oil (Galantino is my favorite, but let’s be real again guys, not everybody can be as awesome as me and have legit Italian olive oil- J/K, I’m almost out of it too), and the very best partgolden raisins. I’ve had golden raisins in salads before and loved them but I’ve never seen them in the store. Lucky for me, Trader Joe’s had them! I have had more salads since finding these babies than I have ever had in my life. Oh, and yes, I do eat my salads out of tupperware. Ain’t nobody got bowls big enough for that. (By the way, yes I talked about this in my last post- but I’m doing it again with a picture! That’s how you know I mean business.)

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And then there’s this fella. I haven’t spoken much about my love for Golden Star Coconut Milk, but it’s a real thing. It was 80% coconut cream and only 20% water, and those were the only two ingredients, nothing else. And it sold for like, $1.75 a can at Wal-Mart. But then the dreaded day came that Wal-Mart stopped carrying it and I have never seen it anywhere else. I’ve tried so many other coconut milks in hopes of finding a match to Golden Star and it’s always a crying shame. It never compares. But then! I found this can of goodness! I actually had overlooked it a time or twenty because it has like, two other ingredients in it and I’m a coconut milk snob, but I went for it in a moment of coconutmilk-mixed-with-strawberry desperation and I’m so glad I did. I ate this on strawberries today and it was like the coconut heavens rained down on me. I would like to say that I’m exaggerating, but I’m not. And the whole can is thick and creamy! Not even just 80% of it! I forgive the xantham gum in it! In fact, I love you, xantham gum, for making such a delicious treat!

This was totally not meant to be about food.

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As part of my #100happydays on instagram, I shared this today. I have finished my application for my Massachusetts nursing license! $275 later, of course. I also applied for graduation! The registrar confirmed receiving my form, and now all I have to do is become $130 poorer tomorrow and I will be holding that stupid $15,000 BSN degree in my hand in May! And possibly applying for the GRE, but I’m still undecided. Ask me after my final on May 2nd. Until then, I’ll just dream about Boston and all the other awesome sights and cities I’m going to see over my travel nursing career!

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To end on a totally random note (in case this whole thing wasn’t random enough), we’ve managed to make it to two Braves games in the last week (hence my lack of working out). Tuesday was the home opener and it was a snooze. Friday night was exciting and went into an extra inning and then the Braves ended up winning! I wish baseball was always exciting, but sometimes all the players do is strike out nonstop. Even Uggla’s plump rear can’t make up for that many strike outs in a row.

Alrighty, I’m actually supposed to be writing my essays for my biology test tomorrow, so I should probably go ahead and finish that.

When life is just too much!

Holy moly- I am drained. After putting off my biology class for the last few weeks (and missing about five assignments), I have a test in a week and now feel the need to cram. Plus I have a ton going on between now and Tuesday- mostly including work. I also have all my nursing licensing stuff figured out and need to take care of that, but for some reason, filling out forms and sending in $275 seems impossible. I have to apply for graduation (cause I’m done with school in 3 weeks), and sending in $130 also seems like way too much to do! I owe Jon for my car insurance and my health insurance is coming up, plus all the final wedding expenses will all have to be paid next month. Finals are coming up. I’m working more. I need to finish up my application with the travel nursing company and get all my letters of recommendation for traveling. I have to apply for the GRE and somehow find time to study. I need to decide if I can really muster up the strength to start grad school in the fall or if I should wait another year. And in just over two months, all of this has to be done, and I will be heading out to the door to my first travel assignment (I hope).

It just feels a bit like I’m drowning. And after the Braves home opener last night (woohoo, BRAVES!), Jon and I got into a huge argument and I’m just feeling totally blah. Also, I am either sick again or spending so much time out in the pollen has really caused me to have some throat and nose problems. I typically don’t get allergies, but I’m feeling like it this year.

I need to go read more biology. I have to get my essays together and quite frankly, don’t even know where to begin with any of them. Not even a clue. But I have a feeling that all three of them will require information from various chapters to be pieced together, and since I haven’t done anything, now I have a ton to do since I can’t find the information all in one spot.

I’m sure this all seems worse because I have 0 energy to exercise so my energy levels are just staying low and my endorphins are probably wallowing in pools of cortisol. Monday and Tuesday I didn’t have any time to go to the gym or run and tomorrow and Friday I won’t either. So today I will probably skip the gym to get things done. I need to talk to the gym owner about how he is processing my payments since I have barely made it to CrossFit. You know- if I even make it to the gym ever again.

I’m just going to add everything in this list to the reason why adulthood sucks. And while I know I am very fortunate to have all the things I have in life (family, friends, Jon, a good job, my education, a house, two cats, my health, etc), sometimes the to-do list becomes a little too hectic and you lose all motivation to cross even the smallest thing off your list…

List for Tuesday

1. I took my wedding dress to get altered. I had put it on when I brought it home the first time and had that I-don’t-know-if-I-like-this-anymore moment. I was pretty worried that I would end up hating my dress and I was still in love with the $1000 dress that I tried on, but I didn’t really worry about it much more. After getting it all pinned up today, I love it again. I even almost got teary eyed standing there because I can’t wait for Jon to finally see me in it! Since the dress flows around (hard to explain), my bustle is costing way too much. Total, my alterations are $244, and that doesn’t include the length! (Thankful for 4 1/2 inch wedges.)

2. I’m wearing shorts, tank tops, and flip flops! WOOHOO!!! Loving this weather like crazy! And I opened the windows at home! I love airing out the house! Tomorrow is going to be a deep cleaning day since Jon’s sister is coming on Thursday!

3. I skipped Body Pump on Saturday morning. I slept horribly and woke up so angry about not getting a good night of sleep when I was finally off work! But I had breakfast with Laura and then lunch with Gina, so my day was complete. Nobody needs to work out.

4. I went to yoga with Laura last night (after 12 hours of work and I need new work shoes so my knees were killing me- good thing I was meeting up with Laura or I would have skipped it). Worst yoga class EVER. The one thing I did like about it was that we did a ton of stretching for our posterior legs and my posterior chain is so tight. I really need to work on that on a daily basis. I say that all the time and never do. But the girl who taught it was way too boring. We spent the first 15 minutes just sitting and stretching our necks and stuff. We rubbed our hands together and then put our faces in them… WTF? I was dying. Laura and I made eye contact right at the moment where we were about to put our faces in our hands and it took all my energy not to burst out laughing. Had I not been starving, tired, and if it wasn’t 9pm, I really would have liked to have gone for a run afterwards.

5. I made it to CrossFit today. It felt great to be back. Not only that, but I can still clean my bodyweight! I don’t even know how. My max clean is 105# (I think- it was so long ago) and I still did 100#. Then I did 18 cleans at 90#. Although I am nowhere near the shape I was in back in 2012 or early last year, I can’t believe that I can still actually get fairly close to most of maxes (within 20# on deadlifts and back squats), especially since I still barely work out!

6. I want to run. But I’m not going to cause I just showered before my dress fitting.

7. I have started looking at master’s programs again. I have to take the GRE and opened up a pretest online and there were exclamation points in the math problems! Whaaaa?! I took math models in 2005 and stats in 2010 (and high school algebra in 2004). I don’t know anything related to math anymore unless you want me to figure out some medication dosages. I need to study really bad. And once I knock out the GRE, I need to start studying for my CEN (Certified Emergency Nurse). Anyway, I need to decide for sure about whether I’m going to go the route of public health or healthcare administration and leadership, but I’m starting to lean towards healthcare administration and leadership (it’s a master’s in nursing still). One school I’m looking at (which is a university close by that offers this online) also has a DNS (doctorate of nursing science) so I think I may apply there. Regardless, I am surprisingly stoked to get on this and unfortunately, can only begin in the fall if I do go with healthcare admin, so I would have to take my GRE in June and apply by July 1st. So, I may possibly be starting grad school earlier than expected. Which I will probably regret not having a longer break, but I need to knock school out anyway in case we have baby makin’ days in our future. I’m about to be 28 (in exactly 1 month- May 1st) and I’m not getting any younger!

8. Contacting the board of nursing of any state is a pain in the ass. I’m adding you to the list, Massachusetts. I may never get licensed.

9. Jon found his cheese grater for his feet (I know it’s not a cheese grater, but I still call it that) and I’ve been using it. I’m on my way to baby soft feet.

10. I’m going to go finish my coffee and head down to class so I can sit outside and read before class tonight.

11. Sorry I’m sucking at reading blogs lately. I’ve been busy with living life. And working 12 hour shifts.

 

Slow run days and nursing licenses

I weighed myself this morning. 98.6. So I’m right around where I am when I’m not working out a lot, which I suppose is good, except I feel way smaller than I remember. My goal is 103lbs, mostly cause unless I really lift heavy a lot, getting to 105lbs is impossible. Those 2lbs are like a mountain to overcome. I’ve been drinking protein every morning, which I’m really not a protein person at all because I think you should just eat what you need in real food, but just to add a little bit extra to my day for right now. I’m using the 365 chocolate whey, which only has 16g of protein per scoop (I’m using 1-1 1/2). My Noosa yogurt has 17g of protein! So it seems a little crazy to buy something extra with less protein than I eat in a cup of yogurt, but I can’t eat that much yogurt or it’d upset my stomach. Sticking to one Noosa a day.

Yesterday morning I woke up around noon (I was working 3p-3a, so I slept in) and had totally missed CrossFit. Instead I decided to go for a quick run since my legs were so sore from Monday’s workout. It took me 21:12 to run exactly 2 miles. That’s really slow and also why I don’t run in the morning. I had no energy AT ALL! It felt like the longest two miles of my life (I kid- all of my PT tests for the Army felt like the longest 2 miles of my life). Then I worked all night and had a surprisingly easy shift.

I slept from 5-11 with a lot of interruptions. I had plans of CrossFit at noon but it was a 1 mile run (I’m sure there is more, but it’s not on the website). I decided to skip it so I can go for a longer run. So I’m eating breakfast and about to do my lab stuff since I have class tonight, possibly meet Jon for lunch if he texts me, and then head out for a run and maybe stop by the gym.

I need to go get a passport photo for my Massachusetts nursing license and also call the board of nursing about a million questions. I’ve realized Georgia is a really difficult state to have to apply for other licenses from with reciprocity because we’re way behind the times. Pain in my ass. And so is the $275 application fee. But Jon and I have decided not to plan a trip to Germany in December for our honeymoon (we’ll go in May instead) so that I’m not stressing about doing two back to back travel nursing assignments. Now I can hopefully enjoy a little more time with Jon over the first 6 months after our wedding!

Okay, off to be productive! It’s 55 and sunny so I’m dying to get outside for a run!

Life: The Right Path

I’m feeling really grateful today. When Jon and I first talked again in December of 2012 and I knew there was the hint of unhappiness and a possible breakup on the horizon, I wondered what would happen with us. I had a lot of conversations with myself (does anybody else talk to themselves in their car?) that if we had the chance, I just wanted closure and that no matter what happened between Jon and me, the outcome would be the right thing. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get back together with him or not. I had no idea what would happen. But I told myself as our friendship progressed that the right thing would happen with us. I’m not religious, so I didn’t believe that god would take us down the right path or that I should pray about it. I told myself that I would know when the time was right to cut Jon out of my life again if I had to or that we would know if it was right to take the next steps together.

When I joined the Army, I had no idea why I joined. I still don’t know why I joined! I know the my friend was trying to join the Air Force and it sounded fun and I had always thought about doing it, so I tried. When both of us had problems joining the Air Force, we both joined the Army. We didn’t do it together and we actually only saw each other two or three times while our training overlapped, but that’s the only thing that I can even think of that pushed me to join. One deployment later and tons of money and financial benefits with school, I still have no idea why I joined the Army.

I have days where I love being a nurse. I have days where I leave angry and tired and frustrated and knowing that this isn’t what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. I never hate it. I also never wanted to be a nurse growing up and always dreamed of being a teacher. Then I decided not to be a teacher because I didn’t want to student teach and I don’t even really like kids. But through joining the Army, I decided upon nursing. I also met Jon in the Army. I worked all weekend and left work today feeling very grateful for what I’m doing with my career. While ER nursing is probably not going to be my lifelong career and I am still unsure of whether I want to get a masters in management or public health, I have a feeling I’ll just know.

I really feel like life falls together in a series of events that happen at the right time. I don’t necessarily believe that fate is the reason and clearly, if I didn’t make these decisions in life, I would have made other decisions. And maybe I would have been happy on another path. Maybe I’d be a teacher and already married with kids. But right now, I feel like my life is exactly where it should be. I feel like I’m doing the right things for myself and that this will set me up for a future of more of the right things. And while it may feel at times like nothing in life is going right at all and it’s all a big disaster, I come out on top every time, feeling like life ended up a little more in line with the path that I should be on.

Now, Jon made me dinner and rented us some movies, so time to relax before starting on a plethora of biology tomorrow.