Hey guys! Not much happening around these parts, of course. But the SEMESTER IS OVER SOON! I hope to have everything submitted by Thursday night so that when I go to Atlanta Friday, I won’t have to worry about anything. I actually haven’t done much for school this week since I’m waiting for Jon to proofread my paper and I need to just watch a movie for a quick assignment, but I’ll get that done tonight.
It’s gloomy out today so Jackson and I are just hanging out at home. Lisa and Nora couldn’t meet for our usual playdate, so we’re chilling at home. I thought about going to the children’s museum still, but downtown Charleston flooded yesterday morning and I have no idea how long that lasts for here. Figured I’d hate to get all the way down there after packing up and have a road be closed. The playground will obviously be all wet. I don’t need to run errands… I thought about playing in the driveway, but I’m not wearing pants… Hah. So I put in Moana (I decided we can do one movie a week, otherwise we keep the TV off if Jackson is up) and Jackson has been playing all day pretty well by himself while I research safe cleaning and body care products.
I worked out Saturday, Sunday, and Monday after staying home sick on Thursday and Friday. Saturday was a quick workout since Jon went too and Jackson was a little fussy in childcare. But Sunday, Jon stayed home and I was 1 of 5 people at the gym! It was wonderful! So I got in a nice, long workout. And despite it being busy on Monday (as always), I ended up getting in another good, long workout. I tend to only stay for about 45 minutes, but I decided to start staying longer if I feel like it. I’m sore this morning and I’m not usually, so that’s good! I’ve started doing a lot more ab work (compared to nothing that I was doing). I have been feeling some sort of pull in my left lower abdomen. Not sure if it’s from my c-section scar, but it almost seems like it’s in a different spot. Hopefully I just pulled something and it’ll go away.
Saturday afternoon, Jon and I took Jackson to the beach! Jackson has always loved the beach, but not on Saturday! It was really windy and crowded, so I think maybe it was too much for him. We took him in the water and he was not interested at all. He just clung to Jon the whole time. I got to play in the water and it was so much fun to be in the waves again! I seriously love the beach. I can go for an hour and be all set though. I’m not an all day beach person at all. We seriously were probably there for 20 minutes and decided to go home since Jackson was not enjoying it at all. But it was still nice to get out!
Sunday afternoon, we went to the James Island County Park. They have a big splash pad, so Jackson and I played in that. I wish we had been more prepared (with sunscreen and a swim diaper at least), but it was super fun. I’m hoping to go during the week this month before school lets out. The county parks here are seriously so awesome! I wish Georgia had stuff like this! They have a full water park too and campsites and everything. It’s crazy.
I decided I think I might try to see a therapist here this summer. I feel so much more anxious still, despite cutting back on caffeine (I just drink decaf coffee unless I really need a boost) and working out more regularly. I really think my brain is just understimulated here and I focus on totally random things too much. Like what if something happens to the drug test I have to take for school, and then the want me to take a new one right after Iceland and I fail for my Xanax that I take when I fly and can’t do my internship? Or what if something comes back wrong on my documentation? Or what if they question my out of state status since USAA screwed me over by canceling my car insurance accidentally and getting my registration suspended so I had to switch my car to SC? None of this will probably happen, but I get so anxious about it and even though I can reason it out, I still stay so anxious about it and keep going with these scenarios that probably won’t happen. It’s really annoying. I feel totally fine during the day and even most nights, but some nights I just can’t sleep because I get SO anxious over these crazy scenarios. And really, none of it matters. Like, yeah it’d suck to have my internship delayed and we plan to try for another baby after I finish, but even if I got kicked out of the program (worst case scenario- even though in my mind, I totally imagine it’d be jail and like 60 Days In and I’d be claustrophobic locked in a jail cell), I’m STILL a nurse. I can STILL make a good living and I’ll STILL have Jon and Jackson, and that’s really all I need. So, there is no reason to be anxious about this stuff. But clearly, if reason could just get rid of anxiety, nobody would ever have it.
Anyway, I should be off to pay attention to Jackson. I’ve been on the computer most of the day getting stuff done (or looking up random stuff on the EWG website), but he’s been playing so well that I hate interrupting him.