Too Many Selfies With Your Kid

We all may know how I feel about selfies. Right? Actually, if you type in “Slutty Instagram Selfies” into google, my blog tops the page. This is my most visited blog post ever.

Now that I’m a parent, I have a new perspective on selfies. I still hate them just as much because I find them to be way too self-involved. I know. I have a blog. And all I write about is myself. I get it. I’m actually pretty self-involved too. (Though I never post the link to this blog anywhere and most people don’t even know that I have one. And I like it that way.)

Let me talk clarify something here though before I delve into my real post here.

I don’t hate selfies of you traveling. I don’t hate selfies of you at the gym when you run an active lifestyle account. I don’t hate selfies in your outfits if you’re a fashion blogger. You’re “branding” yourself. And if you get paid for this? Then get it, girl. If you get paid to post pictures of yourself, then post away! Ain’t no shame in making a living!

My problem is with this scenario: I follow a girl I used to go to the gym with. She has a pre-teen daughter and a very young teen daughter (I believe her kids are around 9 and 12). She posts selfies with her daughter nonstop. She posts pictures of them at the gym. Them in the car. Them eating food. Her daughter sleeping. Her daughter eating. Her daughter dressed up. My old gym friend posts the same photos of herself. She also likes to post pictures of her husband who she loves sooooo much and of them dressed up for their dates and soooo in love, yet I know for a fact that they’ve had affairs, that he says he doesn’t love her and only married her because they got pregnant. Fine. All marriages aren’t perfect. We don’t post the bad stuff all over, right?! Of course not. I don’t even post on my FB or IG about how I wanted to abort my unborn child because I was convinced Jon and I would get divorced.

My problem is not that we are hiding the bad and only sharing the good. Although, I do think there is a difference in not broadcasting the bad stuff in your life and then trying to sugarcoat your life and making a serious effort to make it appear perfect. But that’s another post all together.

My problem is that adults are involving their teenage children in posting every aspect of their life on social media. My problem is that you are teaching your daughter to post pictures of herself working out, at breakfast, while she’s sleeping, while she’s doing homework, while you guys are dressed up in the car, while you’re “not wearing make up” in the car…

What kind of message is this teaching our children today? To focus on ourselves. To get validation from social media. That every aspect of our day needs to be posted for everybody else to see.

I hate the focus of today’s youth. It makes me sad that this is the world Jackson has to grow up in. Jon and I discussed not even having kids because we felt it wasn’t right to unwillingly bring any person into this world today.

I truly think kids today are more depressed, more self-involved, and more entitled because that’s how they’re raised. They want instant gratification and then they want all their friends to see it online. And adults who post all this stuff of their kids online just perpetuate the situation.

I post pictures of my kid. We take selfies together sometimes and sometimes, I even post them. I don’t even care if you post the occasional picture of your kid at the gym because hey, parents are proud! We like to see our kids grow and accomplish things! But it’s the manner in which they are done. It’s the frequency of it. Do we need to see selfies of you and your kid EVERY day?

I hope that parents truly think about their actions and how they are raising their children. After working with kids in the ER, I see family dynamics and how much parents affect their kid’s attitudes. The impact parents make is undeniable and it is huge. If you’re taking selfies with your kid all day long and then posting them on social media, you better believe you are affecting your child and how they view themselves and how they view social media. You’re instilling values, and sometimes these future values might just be about how they are viewed on social media. Isn’t that sad? Let’s get our value from what we do without having to broadcast it all on social media.

5 thoughts on “Too Many Selfies With Your Kid

  1. This is just me… but I have major issues with locker room selfies in the gym. My gym actually has a sign up not to take pictures, but the trainers have pictures of themselves in the locker room! It’s a locker room and people are changing and getting ready, I just don’t like to see people with phones out in there. You figure they are just checking their phone, or even if they are taking a selfie, but I’m already self-conscious places like that anyway.

    I feel like people who take too many selfies in general and post them all can be a trap. I take selfies lately too (mainly because I know pictures go over well in a blog and sometimes it’s nice to take a selfie to celebrate a post-injury run). But I know people who take and post them after every single workout… some of those people work out twice a day too.

    I am curious how they get such great action shots of themselves running or lifting though… ;).

    • I honestly never thought about that in the locker room! I took a few the other day in the long mirror in the locker room because I want to track my progress, but I would be way too embarrassed to take them had somebody actually been in the locker room! The locker room is almost always empty though. I do feel differently about selfies when they’re being used for a blog or whatever because that’s basically your “brand.” I get that. And I don’t feel like your life seems to be consumed with taking the best picture of yourself 24/7. I just go to so many events where I see people (in public!) taking nonstop pictures of themselves and I feel like it’s embarrassing. This guy was taking selfies next to me in the elevator yesterday morning (the back was a window, so I’m sure the morning light was good, hah)! It was so awkward! I have no clue what people do with running, but I feel like at the gym, they must just prop their phone up and set a timer, or take a video and then screen shot it. But I like my gym time WITHOUT a phone! I don’t want to bring it with me and I think I’d be embarrassed to be taking pictures or videos of myself in the gym (unless I was a personal trainer and trying to get my services out there- again, that I totally get).

  2. I 100% agree!
    I do take a selfie every now and again and I love taking them with my nieces but I don’t really post many. Obviously a lot of my Facebook friends are parents (because I’m old) and I can actually see them compete at parenting with each other, on Facebook what does that teach the kids!!! I also have a friend who posts every waking moment of her kids lives on IG and FB it’s actually embarrassing, I bumped into her the other day at the supermarket and while we were chatting her almost 6 year old daughter said ‘mummy how many likes did my gymnastics picture get?’ I genuinely died a little inside for her. It’s so sad. I worry about bringing kids into this world, they definitely are more depressed and I would say much less sociable.

    My gym has a selfie mirror in the locker room and It’s distorted, it makes your legs look slimmer and bum higher…well it doesn’t for me because I’m too short but How crazy is that?!

    • Wow! I feel like I shouldn’t be surprised reading about that girl asking how many likes her picture got, but I can’t help but STILL feeling shocked! I see really young girls on Instagram occasionally just when I’m clicking through things and I cannot believe that their parents are okay with it! It really saddens me that people are getting their value from how well liked they are online instead of who they are in person and what they do with their lives. And that is crazy about the mirror in the gym! You would think that you would especially want an accurate mirror where you are looking at the work you’ve put into your body! And I totally take selfies with Jackson and then we send them to Jon throughout the day. But we rarely post our selfies online (occasionally we do, but definitely not even close to every day!). And I totally get when you just look good and need to take a picture of it, haha. I’m not against that at all. It’s just how it’s become the center of some people’s lives to take pictures of themselves and to post them online, and to get so much validation from social media. I REALLY hope that I can somehow prevent Jackson from being so interested in the fantasy world of social media as he grows older!

  3. I only follow one girl that I went to grade school with who posts pictures of her and her daughter all the time. It’s kind of cute with their matching outfits, but at the same time, it gets to be too much. Her whole IG is nothing but selfies. Though I may take too much pictures of my dog haha!

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