Merry Late Christmas! I’m actually super bummed this Christmas! On Friday afternoon, I started feeling pretty under the weather. My throat really hurt and I just felt terrible. Jackson was fussy and I had to take him out to get Tylenol since he was miserable. My parents had a bunch of stuff to do, so I had no help around the house, and I had so much to do too before working all weekend. And Jon was in Florida, enjoying his time off work, with no baby again.
I know Jon misses Jackson and that it makes sense for him to go see his family for the holidays, but at the same time, come home to see your son! And I had been totally fine with him going to Florida up until Friday, when I felt terrible and had to care for Jackson alone. So, I know this is just me being overly emotional, but still. I don’t ever get breaks from Jackson to just relax and enjoy an entire weekend at home! I get breaks if I go places occasionally, but I haven’t had a night in my house, alone, in forever. Much less a whole weekend! I don’t just get to decide to go to Florida to see my family without asking about the baby. And I think I got extra irritated at one point because Jon had invited friends for New Years to Charleston, and I told him I had to work so he needed to come here to take care of Jackson. He made some comment about having to come to Atlanta to babysit. Um, it’s your son. You aren’t babysitting. I am taking care of him for over a month while Jon works in Charleston (and while I work in Atlanta), so please spare me the sob story about how you have to come to Atlanta to take care of him for a weekend while I work. It’s not like I get to go out and galavant around.
Anyway, so I was just grumpy Friday. I went to be super early and then woke up feeling AWFUL on Saturday. I still went to work because calling out over the holidays is pretty frowned upon and I had just called out on Tuesday thinking I was coming down with the flu. So I went to work. Felt miserable all day Saturday. Noticed petechiae (pinpoint red spots) on the roof of my mouth that night so I assumed I had strep. Went to bed super early Saturday night. Jon was here that night too, but we barely even talked because we were both so tired that we were in bed by 9:10 (I get home from work at 8 and then ate some dinner).
Sunday I felt better, but decided to wear a mask at work since I thought I had come down with strep. I noticed this weird small rash on my hand and it kept itching, but I didn’t think much of it. Then t took it my mask off after a few hours at work when I went to the bathroom and noticed I had a rash on my mouth. So I realized I had hand, foot, and mouth. UGH! I told my supervisor and she switched me out of the children’s ER and to the adult side, but really, I should have been sent home. But we were so short staffed. And Christmas was so busy this year. It was insane.
I was in bed at 9:30 on Sunday night, but Jon wouldn’t even touch me (not even to massage my neck) because of the HFM. And then despite being exhausted, I was so itchy that I could not sleep! I slept two hours all night. The itching yesterday was unbearable and my rash got 10x worse. Finally I soaked my hands in cool water and baking soda and it seemed to help a little bit. Jon left in the late afternoon and my parents took care of Jackson since I don’t want to touch him!
Last night I took some Tramadol for pain and an Ambien to help me sleep. I soaked my hands before bed and magically slept almost 12 hours. I went to bed at 7:30, haha.
Today my hands are just super painful and mildly itchy. But I am SO bummed because every year we do a huge high school get together and Christmas and it’s tonight! So I have to miss that! Tomorrow we were going to Gina’s for a baby gender reveal (one of the girls is pregnant- but it’s not public who it is yet). Friday I was supposed to get together with Juliette, Danny, and Erin from college (Juliette is also who I lived with when I did travel nursing in Oregon). So I am SO bummed that THIS is the week that I got sick! I never have plans and now that I could meet up with all these people I never get to see, NOW I get sick?! Uuughh! And I can’t really hide this one either since I have a weeping rash all over the lower half of my face.
And all month I thought Jon was off this Friday. Yesterday he told me he’s not off on Friday. So I was so upset because I thought I’d have all day Friday with him at home (daycare is closed) and he wasn’t being very understanding and was like, “Can we just focus on the positive?” and wanted no part of me voicing my frustration. I already take care of Jackson all the time! And now all my plans with friends were ruined because of HFM! Jon and I couldn’t do anything together yesterday like I was hoping since I have HFM! It’s ANOTHER day I thought I’d get some help that Jackson is all mine again! Sorry that while you get to wake up without worrying about getting a baby ready, and you can go to work like a normal human being, I’m still at home WITH A BABY! AND my baby just wants to be held by me and keeps reaching for me and I can’t even pick him up! I don’t want him near my face since those blisters are weeping!
I know this is all part of having a baby! But I’m just extra irritated this week since I’ve just really been looking forward to seeing everybody at our get together and finding out if the new baby in the group is a boy or a girl! And I really wanted to hang out with Jon but won’t be able to (HFM lasts 7-10 days). And it’s irritating that Jon doesn’t really get it. He threw a fit over watching Jackson for 10 days, yet doesn’t understand why I’m so moody when I’m taking care of him for over a month on my own. I want Jon to take Jackson to Atlanta one weekend and leave me home alone in Charleston for a weekend. So I can be in my own house, ALONE, and just sit and do whatever I want! I just don’t think he gets what it’s like to plan every second of every single day around somebody else. And Jackson is even in daycare! So here I have had a day or two off during the week to run errands! But I still am working around his schedule! Or if a friend wants to hang out, I’m planning his naps around that! Or worrying about getting him to bed before I leave the house!
Anyway, I need to go book our plane tickets to Poland. I need to call Delta since they don’t have what I need available online. And I need to sign up for my classes for the spring but my password wouldn’t work earlier and then I locked myself out of my account. Besides, this whole post was basically to complain. But there wasn’t much else to update on since all I’ve been doing is working anyway. And weaning off the pump (WOOHOO!) and now my boobs are so small again, haha. And I didn’t bring any bras that fit me now back to Atlanta. Oops.