Crazy Mom

Tomorrow is my LAST day in Charleston before heading back to GA. Not that I’ve been here that long, because I haven’t. I actually wish I could stay here for another weekend with Jon, but oh well. I’ll be back.

I had a total crazy meltdown the other day. Jackson was driving. me. insane. I’m so not used to being home with him all day long. The last time I was home this much with him was on maternity leave and that was pretty much the worst time ever. It’s nice being able to let him have his two naps a day and feed him three full meals, except he has been kind of a pain with sleeping and he refuses a lot of his food lately and throws everything on the floor. And he just fussed ALL DAY LONG the other day. So when Jon got home, I pretty much threw a fit and then accidentally knocked Jackson over and he hit his head and I said I was going back to Atlanta and leaving Jackson here! Which I would never do unless it was planned, because I would miss Jackson too much. Anyway, after my fit, I was all better again and things were totally fine. But babies 24/7 are not for me. Not even my own. I love him to death, but being a stay at home mom is never going to be for me.

Today my goal was to get out of the house and go walk around somewhere. I was SO tired today since I didn’t fall asleep until late and then Jackson woke up in the middle of the night (which hasn’t been happening for awhile). I wanted to go to Magnolia Plantation, but then I read that it’s more of a historical thing and to allow time, so I figured it was better with Jon. Instead I headed to the Battery and to go see Rainbow Row downtown. The sky cleared up right before I went and it was a beautiful day. I threw Jackson in the stroller and we walked around for about an hour. There is SO much I want to explore! I wish it was easier to go eat at places but it’s hard with Jackson right now. I may not have talked about my recent McDonald’s trip with him on our way out to Charleston, but I assure you, it was not fun.

There are these Hike It Baby groups on Facebook (and apparently it’s a big thing nationwide) where you can go meet up with other moms. There is one nearby tomorrow, so I think I’m going to try and make it in the morning. Jackson is usually napping during the time that it’s at, so I hope it goes okay. I’m sort of nervous because I feel like I’m not a real mom. Like, other moms actually wanted to be moms and are put together and like staying at home with their kids. And I’m over here knocking my kid over as I shove couches in anger (I spilled the entire contents of my vacuum canister under the couch- it was really infuriating). And I CAN’T wait for daycare to start here.

Speaking of which, daycares here are so different than Georgia. The centers in Georgia are all pretty big. They have a large capacity and have lots of room for the kids to play. Everything is new and clean and up to date. Everything here is dated. The rooms are tiny and dark. The stuff for the kids to play with is so minimal. I looked at a daycare for $220 a week (which is what we paid at my first daycare- the one we’re at now is more than that but he’s also at a really nice daycare right now) and was kind of shocked. So, I’m sticking with a cheaper one since it’s part time, and I will probably just take him in the mornings and get him in the afternoons. Unless I get a job, which I really want. I want to get a job in a gym doing pretty much anything, but I have a feeling I’ll be too overqualified to even get an interview.

Well,  I suppose it’s time to head out. Jackson is about to go down for bed and then it’s time to clean up! I finally got to put all my photos on my external hard drives, so I’m in the process of uploading almost 7,000 high resolution photos. It’s taking forever. And then I need to start on my Shutterfly book for Jackson’s whole first year!

3 thoughts on “Crazy Mom

  1. You are no different to any other Mom, regardless of whether you’ve been trying for years, planned Jackson or not you love him just as much as every other Mom loves their kid.
    As for knocking him over, it happens.. I seen a Mom spill mulled wine on her baby in the stoller at a christmas market yesterday, my friend twice has locked her baby in the car accidently (but probably secretly it was deliberate as he is HARD work, ha)
    Every Mom has Crazy Mom moments I remember some of my own Moms meltdowns well, my sisters and I make fun of her for it now!

    Daycare is so expensive here too, I know people who it really isnt worth their while working as all the money goes back out on childcare!!

    • I spent most of my money that I made in Georgia on daycare, but it was WELL worth the money, haha. If I can’t find a job, I won’t even be working and we’re still paying for daycare! I need a break. I definitely love him tons, but some moms really love that time at home with their kids, even if it drives them crazy. I know moms who would never think of leaving their kids all day long. And I am the total opposite! Which is fine, but I think sometimes those differences in personality can just be so glaring it makes it hard to connect and become good friends.

      • Yeah as if parenting isn’t hard enough, the ‘community’ can be so judgemental!! I bet a lot of them actually feel the same as you they are just too afraid to admit it!

        My friends who spend their salary on childcare say it worth it too, ha, they say we don’t work for money anymore we work for our sanity!!!

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