Awesome Things in Marriage

Want to know something awesome? Just bear with me as I get to the awesome part, okay?

I’ve always been the clean one in our marriage. Jon has always been the tornado that comes through and messes up my clean house. He literally puts his scrubs on the floor touching the hamper. He also undresses at the coffee table on a daily basis and I am constantly picking up his t-shirts and socks from the living room. The cleanliness of our house and been a battle for almost the entire time we’ve been living together. I’ve kind of given up on him and I always do our floors, bathrooms, keep the dishes clean, do almost all of our laundry (he will put in a load if I ask him), pay bills, grocery shop, etc. I used to get so annoyed because he would come home from work to a spotless house that I spent 4-5 hours cleaning (how long it takes to really clean our house) and he would never say anything at all about it. He finally started telling me the house looks good when he comes home and I’ve cleaned, but he never thanks me for it.

As I’ve mentioned more than a million times, I have had zero motivation to clean while pregnant. Our house is definitely not disgusting by any means, but it’s messy. I finally gathered up the motivation to get our kitchen in order the other day and had kept it clean ever since.

Jon wanted to have a Super Bowl party on Sunday and I said I didn’t really care, as long as our house was clean when people came over (I cannot stand to have anybody come into a messy house) and he had to clean up whatever mess they made.

I can’t even remember what Jon did in our kitchen on Saturday, but when I woke up on Sunday morning, it was a disaster in the kitchen. I hardly had any room to make my breakfast and was so annoyed with it that I left without even saying goodbye to him (we wake each other up to kiss goodbye every morning). I never mentioned it to him though.

Sunday night he had his little party and then left the mess all night long. Again, Monday morning I had nowhere to make my breakfast and his buffalo sauce smelled awful. But I was off work so I decided to load the dishwasher so that when he got home from work that night, he’d at least have room to load all the big bowls and he would be able to hand wash all the big pans.

Monday night, he came home and we took apart the bookshelf in Jackson’s room and went to look at gliders for the baby’s room. Then when we got home, he wanted to watch TV. I mentioned the mess (/probably nagged him) and he cleaned up while I was in the shower. And he did a great job. It really was spotless.

I came out to say goodnight and mentioned something that was probably naggy (I can’t recall what). He was like, “Yeah, you’re welcome for cleaning the kitchen!” to which I responded, “Yup, doesn’t it feel nice to be unappreciated?”

I went to bed immediately and texted him (you can solve all marriage problems via text) that I was really irritated with him acting like I was ungrateful for him cleaning the kitchen. I mentioned that I spend hours cleaning our house and while he does tell me it looks good, he never thanks me. This was his mess and he had agreed to clean it up entirely, but I still loaded the dishwasher and put stuff away for him while he was working to help out. He doesn’t ever thank me for cleaning up my messes, so why is he acting like I’m ungrateful for not thanking him for cleaning up his own messes? He texted back that I was right and he was sorry.

I worked the next day and when I got home, he had a bag of Ghirardelli chocolates on the table with a note thanking me for all the tireless work I put into our house and how he was sorry for the night before and that he loves me. And it was seriously the sweetest thing ever. And then he rubbed my legs AND my back! It just reminds me of why I love him… I honestly don’t think a bag of chocolates has ever been so appreciated ever. I think we’ve been out of the habit of really trying to think of the other person, and it was just super sweet of him to even apologize the next day. It’s just a reminder of how something so small can make such a huge difference and really made me feel like he appreciates me.

And that was what was awesome 🙂

6 thoughts on “Awesome Things in Marriage

  1. That’s so sweet of him! I loved the note that he put with the chocolates.

    I don’t like it when in a relationship and only one person does all the house work, especially if both of them work. In my past relationships whenever I was in their room and they asked if I was going to help them clean it, I’d tell them no that it wasn’t my mess and that they were never going to help me with my room. They didn’t seem happy about it but they weren’t going to argue with my logic.

    • I’ve never had anybody ask me to clean up for them! I actually used to clean up Jon’s apartment ALL THE TIME when we were long distance. I put all of his laundry away and would clean his bathrooms and vacuum. But he never asked and he still doesn’t. The extent of him ever asking me to actually clean is sometimes being like, “Hey, can you throw my sweater into the wash- I forgot and have a business dinner.” But Jon just really doesn’t mind a mess. He likes a clean house, but a mess would never both him. It has to be really bad before he feels like he needs to clean up. I hate having stuff out and normally keep everything put away! I’ve just accepted that Jon is just never going to be as clean as I’d like and I’ll always do most of the housework and that’s fine, but I want my hard work to be noticed and appreciated at least! I mean, we’d seriously live in filth if it wasn’t for me.

  2. I listen to my sisters and friends and the number one thing they seem to agree about in their marriages is housekeeping and childcare. That is so sweet of him, especially the note, funny though that it only took him cleaning up once to realise that it should be appreciated!!

  3. “He texted back that I was right and he was sorry.” — I think this is the key to a successful marriage! When you’re wrong, just admit it right away so you can move on!

    I also prefer solving things by text…to an extent. On the one hand it’s good to express your feelings without crying or screaming. On the other hand, an argument that might only take 10 minutes in person can drag on for a whole day!

    • Jon and I don’t typically argue by text! But I didn’t even feel like getting into it cause I knew I’d just get angry and then so would he, so I thought a text would just be easier right before going to sleep. I didn’t even think he’d respond to me, actually. I think I need to get better about admitting when I’m wrong! Except I pretty much never think I’m wrong, which Jon says is the problem, haha 🙂

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