Holy Moly, Monday! You couldn’t have come fast enough!
Thursday, there was no gym. I went to the pool instead. My body was so tired and I had no energy, nor any desire, to lift any weight or move my body any faster than I had to. While I’m struggling a bit with this “being too tired to work out” or “wanting to keep going to the gym so I don’t get out of the habit of working out,” I guess I just have to listen to my body.
I spent Thursday evening at my mom and dad’s. It was definitely fun having Annie and Tank in town for almost 3 weeks, but it’s nice not spending all of my days off over there too! I really wish they lived closer than Wisconsin, but I guess I’ll just be glad Jon’s family is only half as far away (in Jacksonville, FL).
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were 12 hour work days (and I got out at 7:30 all three days). I didn’t sleep well on Thursday or Friday night, but then managed to get a good night of sleep on Saturday night. Thankfully, none of the days at work were terrible because I don’t think I even have the mental capacity right now to handle a rough day. I feel like my mind is mush and my critical thinking is going downhill. I got my feet wet yesterday when I helped my neighbor with her critical patient for about 20 minutes, but that was more than enough and I was thankful that it wasn’t my patient!
Jon and I decided to go to sushi last night. Actually, I decided. I have tons of cravings lately, but most of them are fleeting. Like, I decided while I was on my way to Whole Foods the other day that I needed carrots! So I bought a huge thing of carrots. By the time I got home, I really didn’t want carrots at all. And still don’t. But now I have three containers full of chopped carrots. My most frequent cravings are bagels and Panera. I have only had one bagel so far (from Panera, actually), but I think it’s safe to say that I’ve increased my carb intake exponentially. I’m just going to buy bagels for myself at the store, which I haven’t done in years (we’re a no bread house). But, with not feeling all that great most of the time, I don’t want to eat chicken (at all, even though I made 2lbs of chicken and couldn’t bring myself to eat one bite) or tons of veggies. I am trying to keep myself eating a fairly well rounded diet still though. I’ve been fairly successful, even if my lunch at work for three days consisted of a white potato, strawberries, and carrots only.
Okay, that paragraph ended up being all about food. So, Jon and I went to eat sushi last night. It was so good and it was nice to have a little date night with him. I’m pretty bummed because our schedules won’t line up for us to have a weekend off together until the second or third weekend in September, and now that he’ll be working full time again, I don’t have weekdays off with him either. I guess we’ll have to fit in these date nights as much as possible!
I got in bed shortly after we got home and slept so good! Aside from the loudest thunderstorm I’ve ever heard in my life at 12:30, followed by Kitty throwing up such a big hairball that she then threw up her dinner and three piles of blood, I really had a great night of sleep! I slept so good, in fact, that I stayed in bed till almost noon. I was awake for a lot of it, but just had zero desire to get up. I had really hoped that exhaustion in early pregnancy wouldn’t hit me, but it has! I’m sure working 38 hours in the last 3 days didn’t help, but I have been more tired lately than I have been in as long as I can remember. I’m trying to rest when I can since I’ve had so many sleepless nights and besides, I won’t be able to lay in bed till noon again once this baby comes, so I will lay in bed till noon if I feel like it. I need to enjoy these childless days as much as I can! I hope these next 33 weeks are the slowest 33 weeks of my life!
Another girl at work is pregnant with me. She has a two year old and she’s 9 weeks pregnant now. We were chatting yesterday and she was basically super realistic and saying how really, until your baby is a year old, there’s nothing fun about it. She wasn’t one who enjoyed being pregnant (I think it’s totally weird to have a baby growing in me and I don’t have that “life is so beautiful” feeling at all) and didn’t enjoy the newborn phase at all. She said it wasn’t really till her son was a year that it really made sense to have a kid. I feel like I’ll be the same way and it’s refreshing that moms are open about feeling that way, so that the other people who feel that way don’t feel like awful mothers for going through that natural progression. It wasn’t until the last few years that I realized people don’t actually like the newborn phase and that some moms feel no connections with their babies for a few months. I’m really excited to have older kids, but none of the next year or two seems like any fun to me. Babies are cute, but I don’t particularly enjoy them. At least not 24/7. And you know what? That’s okay. I don’t have to love every stage of having a baby. And it’s okay if it takes a few months or more to even really like my baby. I don’t really see how women are supposed to like the thing that makes them hormonal and fat for 9 months, rips open their vagina, and then takes their normal life from them and exchanges it for sleepless nights and stressful days and worries of daycare and who will watch this child and WHAT DO YOU EVEN DO WITH THIS BABY?!
Guys, this is not beautiful. It’s not even fun. And it’s not cute. Just like my boobs won’t be cute after they start sagging from the extra 10lbs each boob has gained.
Alright, I promise not all blog posts will be about babies. I don’t want to be that person. I’m going to go try to have a productive day running way too many errands, which I hope will include the gym somewhere at some time. Probably via ClassPass, which I need to go ahead and activate since this should be a better week than last.