I have a complete lack of anything exciting to say lately. I’m feeling overwhelmed and not very motivated at this point. I think I had a mental overload this week after working eight days straight, going directly to Florida and running errands all weekend, and then coming back and working another for days in a row. I have biology class and lab on Tuesday nights, and I absolutely dread my lab. It’s 2 hours and 45 minutes long and it’s hard and confusing. I have zero interest in it whatsoever. I was feeling all woe is me because I have been in school, aside from my military time (which is not a break) for almost 10 years now nonstop. I’ve also been working full time for the last two years, and also worked quite a bit as a tech for the two years before that. Having my mind constantly going between school and work is just mentally draining and the thought of having another semester of lab is really just a huge downer. I know I’ll finally be graduating in May with my bachelor’s (seriously, FINALLY, at 28)! And then hopefully I can travel for a year and come home and go back to grad school. That thought also kind of makes me want to cause large amounts of bodily harm to myself, but when I think of being a nurse or hopefully going back to school, I just have to weigh the pros and cons, and grad school wins.
On top of that, Jon and I have been talking a lot about our future lately. I don’t think it’s a big secret that marriage has been a big topic lately. But he’s just really getting back into school and has probably another ten years to go. So the time/financial burden of that is really not very exciting to think about. I would by lying if I didn’t think to myself what the hell did I get myself in to?! I could be traveling the world with a career man and instead we’re spending all of our money on school! but I love him. So sacrifices will be made and one day, far down the road, hopefully it’ll all pay off! But really, I’m just trying not to think about it because things change and plans don’t go as planned. We’ll cross those bridges when we come to them.
I’m not sure when my life changed and I had to start considering all these things. I think I should rewind ten years. I’m pretty sure that the days when my biggest concern was who would be going out drinking with me that night were probably much more enjoyable. I have a feeling my liver was less happy, but those times were good. Now Jon reminds me daily that I act like a 50 year old woman who likes to go to bed too early. It’s true.
In other news, moving day is this weekend! I was hoping Jon would want to do it tomorrow while I’m at work, but I think he wants to do it Sunday, when I can help 😦 I currently have blankets full of stuff that Jon brought over yesterday on the floor behind me. I had planned on getting ahead and organizing next week, but I can’t say for that it will happen since I just realized that I have a test next week! So the house may be in shambles till December, but the cats seem pretty excited about their new toys. They’re crazy.
I’m so boring. For real. I need to go study, work out, and get ready to go to Netherworld with Crista and Billy tonight. And Jon.