After working Sunday night and Monday night, I’m feeling a bit rough. I barely slept when I got off work Monday morning and then wasn’t able to take a nap before going back into work on Monday night (I just laid in bed all day!). So I was exhausted all night on Monday night at work and ended up spending close to five hours in the same patient’s room, and we had started two different pressors (my patient’s pressure was so low) and temporarily had dobutamine infusing. Anyway, I got off work at 3:45 because 2/4 people on my hallway went to lunch at 2:50am (WHYYYY?!). I did sleep good that night, until I woke up when Jon went to work, and then I woke back up around noon and knew I needed to get up.
I had my first biology lab test last night. I was already so out of it from my sleep schedule being off (I don’t do well when my sleep is messed up) and the test was so hard! I spent so long looking through the microscope and had the worst headache by the end of the test. I probably should have done really poorly, but he gave me full credit for two when I should have received partial credit, but why would I correct that mistake? Anyway, I was stressed and tired and just wanted to get home to see Jon since we hadn’t even seen each other except for in the middle of the night for the last five days.
It was good to drink some wine with him, get a massage, and then I attempted to go to bed. Was unsuccessful. That’s how I am when my sleep schedule is off. I just lay in bed, exhausted with burning eyes… So I got three hours of sleep and went back to work today for 8 hours.
I am in a pickle… I can go back to being full time… Which means I work a set pattern for three weeks and work every third weekend, and then I use paid time off if I need time off (except weekends, we can’t use PTO on weekends), and I also make $300 less a month IF I work 72 hours. I can stay PRN, know that I will be able to have a weekend off for sure if I need it off, but I literally can’t plan any more than a few days here and there off because shifts are so hard to come by at work right now. I also worked three weekends in the last schedule period and am working three weekends again in the schedule period coming up (I don’t work the whole weekend, just parts of it, but it still ruins it). I realize I can’t work more than one evening at a time because I can’t function. But I only have to work 60 hours in a pay period to make that extra $300 a month. However, the hours are totally unpredictable so I can’t plan any sort of life. I just have to wait to see what my shifts are at work. And I know that if I go back to full time, I won’t be getting any overtime at work.
The other option is find another job somewhere else and keep my job now, just working less hours there. However, this all has to happen this month. By the end of October. So I guess what really needs to happen is my resume needs to get done tonight and I need to apply to jobs tomorrow night and see what happens. I just don’t know what the best option is at this time… That extra $300 a month does make a difference and it probably ends up being more than that once I add in my night differential for these evenings I’m working… Ahh… I just don’t know! Seeing the options I have at other hospitals may work out for me… Or maybe I can ask my manager if I can supplement my hours by going PRN in another department. Actually, maybe I will do that tomorrow. I really want experience outside of the ER anyway… And I’ll still apply other places, just to see what’s out there.
This is more of a monologue. I realize I am the worst blogger. I admire bloggers who can write about one thing but that’s so not me. And I’m the youngest child. Youngest children are all about themselves. It’s a fact, youngest children. Don’t be offended. And I totally fit that. Luckily, I like to talk a ton about random stuff, mostly about my life, and Jon doesn’t really say a whole lot unless you get him telling a story and then he draws it way the hell out. But really, it’s perfect. But who wants to read the youngest child blog that’s all about random stuff that doesn’t even make any sense? I had every intention today of writing about the gym and that’s like, the one thing I didn’t even mention (but I did go to the gym even though I almost drove right by it, and then had a really good shoulder workout). I can’t even write all about myself on one topic (unless it’s mine and Jon’s love story, cause it’s my favorite). I’m the same way in conversation though. My mind goes everywhere.
I have to go shower and then go watch Jon’s softball game. I should do homework but I’m not in the mood at all, so instead I’ll just make Jon help me write a fantastic resume tonight. Sounds like a plan.